Now I am not trying to back out of mine here, far from it, I think I may be one of the few people in the new year who actually set sensible, attainable and most importantly, realistic goals for the New Year.
I haven't failed yet three days in but I haven't had a perfect day either and I have, as I outlined above, set actual attainable goals.
January is hectic enough. Winding down after christmas, and often (especially for me) a lack of money after christmas. Nevermind the fact that most people have had at least a week off and are totally of of gear and need to be rolled down the hill to jump start them (see my clever wordplay there?). And yet this is the week where everyone decides it's time to start fresh. Anyway my point wasn't to come on and complain but to quickly jot down my days wisdoms (ahem ahem, I use this term lightly).
Myself, it's week 1. Back to reality. Two blissful weeks off where my time was sudden a less valuable commodity. Usually I get to the weekend and say "ok we have two days, how much can we fit in?" so two weeks of not having to do anything was bliss. And if anything, and yes I'm going full first world problems here, it is actually harder to go back to work after two weeks off. You are painfully aware of what you're missing. So I'm back with a bang this week with a fifty hour week, and a fifty something hour week next week, hence the rushed posts before I collapse each night. This of course is causing hiccups. We're restocking our fridges after the christmas wipe out, we're flat broke and me being unused to half six starts and ten hour days means the last thing I want to do at night is prepare dinners and lunches for tomorrow. Unfortunately this left me eating waffles and chicken dippers at lunch time and an oreo ball in the morning. For those who have not tried this most glorious of sins, don't once they are eaten you will never be cured. I also had to run from one job to another this evening and I wasn't prepared. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail is blaring in my head right now, but my point is sometimes you just can't. I will have more weeks like this and other weeks will sail by without a hitch. The point is to try and learn damage control. I ate into my exercise today so to speak (I ate back calories I burned working out) but I also worked out. I know its not ideal and my defict was only 200ish calories but it was a deficit. As long as I'm getting them I'm happy. As long as this doesnt happen every day I'm happy.
So I guess what I'm saying is I'm happy. I left the house this morning at seven and got home at seven and I still made myself get up and step out into the torrential rain and walk 2.5km. It's not much but it's fantastic for me. I also had a 400 cal deficit but I baked banana bread for my lunch tomorrow and obviously I had to try it. I admit it was silly on my part but I'm tired and it looked goooood!
On the plus side tomorrow I have both dinner and a healthy banana bread mid morning snack to take with me!
Day 363 down, 362 days to go!
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/queasy
Tuesday, 6 January 2015
Monday, 5 January 2015
Day 2.
Long, long, long day.
I had to stay on two extra hours on my first day back in work and I'm feeling the christmas blues!
Not a great day, some eating happened because I had to stay late in work and wasn't prepared for that (i.e I was hungry but had no food of my own left) but not a terrible day either. I got in 20 minutes of Pilates. I am going to pay for that in the morning. I also got a new job today, another one and this is definitely going to relieve some stresses and stuff thats not conducive to the healthiest lifestyle ever!!
So I'm going to take today as a win. I'll probably try take every day as a win, I'm an optimist but it was a good day considering and I was also back on my feet all day as opposed to at home lazing on the couch as I did quite a lot over christmas!
Day 364 down and won!
363 days to go!
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/queasy
I had to stay on two extra hours on my first day back in work and I'm feeling the christmas blues!
Not a great day, some eating happened because I had to stay late in work and wasn't prepared for that (i.e I was hungry but had no food of my own left) but not a terrible day either. I got in 20 minutes of Pilates. I am going to pay for that in the morning. I also got a new job today, another one and this is definitely going to relieve some stresses and stuff thats not conducive to the healthiest lifestyle ever!!
So I'm going to take today as a win. I'll probably try take every day as a win, I'm an optimist but it was a good day considering and I was also back on my feet all day as opposed to at home lazing on the couch as I did quite a lot over christmas!
Day 364 down and won!
363 days to go!
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/queasy
Sunday, 4 January 2015
Day 1. I think the fit people are on to me.
So this will be short and sweet, I'm back to the daily toil tomorrow and I am turning in ealry to compensate for two weeks of breaking good habits and staying in bed till ten every day.
Today was alamost a disaster.
But I turned it around. Yes I did. (I may be listening to James Morrison right now, I'm getting all soulful!)
I started off great. Up relatively early, healthy brekkie (ish, its the first day after Christmas a completely healthy breakfast would be a shock to the system) some rice cakes for snack time and then an absolutely delicious lunch of spicy stir fried turkey and some sweet potato wedges. Don't worry I'm not going to document my food every single day, there is a point to this. I was doing good. Being resolved. There's definitely strong cravings for choccy after pretty much giving into every craving after Xmas but I was doing it in moderation but then my boyfriend suggested a relaxed evening in for our last day off and things caught up with me.
We sat down and tucked into "The Good Wife" and two eps in my resolve was waning. I was tired and the thought of making something healthful for supper was just so daunting. I was also failing on the first day to get some specifically exercise related activity into my day. Feeling a bit silly and sorry for myself I went over for one pancake, just one of course, with nutella because you can't have pancakes without that.
Fast forward to half eight and I'm sitting on the couch having eaten three, yes three pancakes with Nutella.
The old me would have thought "well, fuck it there's day one gone, we'll start again tomorrow".
I wouldn't have logged my failures, I would have left my diary unfinished and sat there pretending I was actively trying to loose weight. By sitting on a couch scoffing Nutella. So that was a bit of a reality check for me.
Failing three of my four resolutions on day one. Same old me. However something in my head slid oh so gracefully into place and I sat up, entered all my nutella, every last gram (because I weighed it as I binged, cause obviously if you know how much you're eating the calories don't exist, right?) and the three pancakes and then I turned to my boyfriend and told him to get his shoes we were going outside.
So at nine o clock at night we hit off down the road and half an hour later (he's a slower walker than me I would have done it in 25 mins, I swear) we'd done 2.5 km which doesn't seem like much but it was a little success for me. I didn't give up completely because I made some bad choices. I didn't hide from said bad choices and pretend they didn't happen. I owned up to every calorie and I got up and moved.
It's a small but important victory for me. I will sleep comfortably tonight knowing that there one day down of 365.
It may not have been a perfect day but it was a success.
One day down, 364 to go.
p.s just to verify, my diary is viewable here. You'll just have to trust I'm honest. In the end of the day I'm only fooling myself by...ahem ahem...omitting.
Today was alamost a disaster.
But I turned it around. Yes I did. (I may be listening to James Morrison right now, I'm getting all soulful!)
I started off great. Up relatively early, healthy brekkie (ish, its the first day after Christmas a completely healthy breakfast would be a shock to the system) some rice cakes for snack time and then an absolutely delicious lunch of spicy stir fried turkey and some sweet potato wedges. Don't worry I'm not going to document my food every single day, there is a point to this. I was doing good. Being resolved. There's definitely strong cravings for choccy after pretty much giving into every craving after Xmas but I was doing it in moderation but then my boyfriend suggested a relaxed evening in for our last day off and things caught up with me.
We sat down and tucked into "The Good Wife" and two eps in my resolve was waning. I was tired and the thought of making something healthful for supper was just so daunting. I was also failing on the first day to get some specifically exercise related activity into my day. Feeling a bit silly and sorry for myself I went over for one pancake, just one of course, with nutella because you can't have pancakes without that.
Fast forward to half eight and I'm sitting on the couch having eaten three, yes three pancakes with Nutella.
The old me would have thought "well, fuck it there's day one gone, we'll start again tomorrow".
I wouldn't have logged my failures, I would have left my diary unfinished and sat there pretending I was actively trying to loose weight. By sitting on a couch scoffing Nutella. So that was a bit of a reality check for me.
Failing three of my four resolutions on day one. Same old me. However something in my head slid oh so gracefully into place and I sat up, entered all my nutella, every last gram (because I weighed it as I binged, cause obviously if you know how much you're eating the calories don't exist, right?) and the three pancakes and then I turned to my boyfriend and told him to get his shoes we were going outside.
So at nine o clock at night we hit off down the road and half an hour later (he's a slower walker than me I would have done it in 25 mins, I swear) we'd done 2.5 km which doesn't seem like much but it was a little success for me. I didn't give up completely because I made some bad choices. I didn't hide from said bad choices and pretend they didn't happen. I owned up to every calorie and I got up and moved.
It's a small but important victory for me. I will sleep comfortably tonight knowing that there one day down of 365.
It may not have been a perfect day but it was a success.
One day down, 364 to go.
p.s just to verify, my diary is viewable here. You'll just have to trust I'm honest. In the end of the day I'm only fooling myself by...ahem ahem...omitting.
Saturday, 3 January 2015
New Year New Me? Most definitely!
Here we are again.
New Year, New Me. Everyone says it about one thing or the other and most people get to the the 10th of January and give up, but every year a some peoples resolutions stick and I want this year to be my year.
Every year since I can remember my resolution has been too loose weight and every year it doesn't happen I feel like a bit more of a failure. So this year I am resolved (that's what they are for after all right) to make it happen. I am slowly eating away my life. In a few years I'll be in my thirties and I could be looking back saying I won't waste my thirties being six stone overweight now's my time to loose it all. Or I could do it. Really, really do it and hit my thirties and look back and say thank God I didn't waste one more minute of my life being overweight.
I am 24 years old and I will not be 54 years old and still trying to deal with my weight problem.
This is my year. I have gone on too many years already and I am determined to do it.
So my resolution will be shared with the Internet. I will document it every single day.
The good, the bad and the damn ugly things you can expect to hear from me.
I will blog for 365 days in a row and I will document my journey from fat to healthy.
In 365 days I will revisit my resolutions and see how I've done.
And what are these resolutions you may ask?
Well the usual stuff eh?
1. I will get fit.
2. I will eat healthy 80% of the time. (And make reasonably sensible "bad" choices the other 20% of the time.)
3. I will weigh in once every two weeks for the next year.
4. I will log my food and do it honestly on My Fitness Pal every day.
4. I will keep this resolution.
This is my year, and my journey, my turn to be a success story and I am not starting this tomorrow or the next day I am starting it right this minute. I am going to cook a lovely, healthy, meal in a bit and it will be my celebratory meal. It will be the start of the new me.
New Year, New Me. Everyone says it about one thing or the other and most people get to the the 10th of January and give up, but every year a some peoples resolutions stick and I want this year to be my year.
Every year since I can remember my resolution has been too loose weight and every year it doesn't happen I feel like a bit more of a failure. So this year I am resolved (that's what they are for after all right) to make it happen. I am slowly eating away my life. In a few years I'll be in my thirties and I could be looking back saying I won't waste my thirties being six stone overweight now's my time to loose it all. Or I could do it. Really, really do it and hit my thirties and look back and say thank God I didn't waste one more minute of my life being overweight.
I am 24 years old and I will not be 54 years old and still trying to deal with my weight problem.
This is my year. I have gone on too many years already and I am determined to do it.
So my resolution will be shared with the Internet. I will document it every single day.
The good, the bad and the damn ugly things you can expect to hear from me.
I will blog for 365 days in a row and I will document my journey from fat to healthy.
In 365 days I will revisit my resolutions and see how I've done.
And what are these resolutions you may ask?
Well the usual stuff eh?
1. I will get fit.
2. I will eat healthy 80% of the time. (And make reasonably sensible "bad" choices the other 20% of the time.)
3. I will weigh in once every two weeks for the next year.
4. I will log my food and do it honestly on My Fitness Pal every day.
4. I will keep this resolution.
This is my year, and my journey, my turn to be a success story and I am not starting this tomorrow or the next day I am starting it right this minute. I am going to cook a lovely, healthy, meal in a bit and it will be my celebratory meal. It will be the start of the new me.
Thursday, 9 October 2014
Things never go to plan do they?
I am going to stop making plans for anything other than the day I am currently living.
What's the saying "While you make plans God's laughing"? Well someone is definitely laughing.
You know how I was planning my super exciting week last week with all my days off etc. Well of course that didn't happen. Oh no. I went out last week to the kids I mind only to discover that the two kids were sick with an awful tummy bug and guess what? By day two I had caught it. I ended up leaving an hour early and I was sick until Thursday and then on Thursday night, Paul (my boyfriend) got sick. Yep. Three days later and we wre barely over it as a house. Every. Single. Plan. Was. Laid. To. Waste.
So I started this week fresh and basically was just wrecked the whole time. Kids are tiring! So today I am fresh and fighting fit! I've been up since seven cleaning and organising (and watching Alphas) and I'm currently sitting here trying to decide what type of scone to bake. I'm leaning towards peanut butter and chocolate because...well because chocolate and peanut butter...no other because needed.
I am in Heaven.
I sent my boyf off to college this morning and he was checking would I be alright etc. Honestly. I couldn't wait to get him out the door. I have the house to myself. To do whatever I want. To clean and organise without him trailing around behind me making it messy again. I might even play his playstation. Of course as always happens in the week following a sickness I also have a tonne of jobs to do and a to do list on my ipod as long as my leg. I need to go to the post office, buy kitty litter, go to my parents house, paint furniture, buy paint brushes, tax the car, collect my parking permit...shall I continue? I don't think theres a need. My biggest fear is that I won't make good use of my days. I'm used to not having time and squishing everything in and now I have loads. It's kind of scary.
Maybe an overreaction.
But maybe you get my point. It's like letting a kid into a toy store and saying you can choose any one item that you want now go. Theres just so much to choose from I can't pick any one thing. My brain is going five million miles a minute here with all the things I can do.
So I suppose I should just start right?
Instead of sitting here blogging.
I'm going to go bake my scones get rid of all the boring jobs and then....then I am going to the charity warehouse near our house to buy some new furniture. Talk about child in a toy store..I may just die from happiness. It's normally closed when I'm off!!!
Big woop for life changes!
To an unscheduled life!
What's the saying "While you make plans God's laughing"? Well someone is definitely laughing.
You know how I was planning my super exciting week last week with all my days off etc. Well of course that didn't happen. Oh no. I went out last week to the kids I mind only to discover that the two kids were sick with an awful tummy bug and guess what? By day two I had caught it. I ended up leaving an hour early and I was sick until Thursday and then on Thursday night, Paul (my boyfriend) got sick. Yep. Three days later and we wre barely over it as a house. Every. Single. Plan. Was. Laid. To. Waste.
So I started this week fresh and basically was just wrecked the whole time. Kids are tiring! So today I am fresh and fighting fit! I've been up since seven cleaning and organising (and watching Alphas) and I'm currently sitting here trying to decide what type of scone to bake. I'm leaning towards peanut butter and chocolate because...well because chocolate and peanut butter...no other because needed.
I am in Heaven.
I sent my boyf off to college this morning and he was checking would I be alright etc. Honestly. I couldn't wait to get him out the door. I have the house to myself. To do whatever I want. To clean and organise without him trailing around behind me making it messy again. I might even play his playstation. Of course as always happens in the week following a sickness I also have a tonne of jobs to do and a to do list on my ipod as long as my leg. I need to go to the post office, buy kitty litter, go to my parents house, paint furniture, buy paint brushes, tax the car, collect my parking permit...shall I continue? I don't think theres a need. My biggest fear is that I won't make good use of my days. I'm used to not having time and squishing everything in and now I have loads. It's kind of scary.
Maybe an overreaction.
But maybe you get my point. It's like letting a kid into a toy store and saying you can choose any one item that you want now go. Theres just so much to choose from I can't pick any one thing. My brain is going five million miles a minute here with all the things I can do.
So I suppose I should just start right?
Instead of sitting here blogging.
I'm going to go bake my scones get rid of all the boring jobs and then....then I am going to the charity warehouse near our house to buy some new furniture. Talk about child in a toy store..I may just die from happiness. It's normally closed when I'm off!!!
Big woop for life changes!
To an unscheduled life!
Friday, 26 September 2014
TODAY IS THE DAY!!!
Today.is.my.last.day.in.the.office.
TODAY IS MY LAST DAY IN THE OFFICE!
TODAY IS MY LAST DAY IN THE OFFICE!!!
I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it...and yes I am listening to The Pointer Sisters right now!
Never in my life has there been a more appropriate time.
My life literally starts today! Well it starts officially at half five I suppose!
I have instructed my boyfriend to be outside at 5:30 because I will not be able to wait to share my absolute elation with him!!!
I will have to hold off doing an insane little dance till we get down the street a little because this year may have been awful but I am not so rude as to show how excited I am never to see this place again!
Of course I can't celebrate fully tonight as I am in fact working in my new job tomorrow! Minding the babógs (babies for those irishly challenged), so tonight I will be frequenting my favorite Indian with my boy and two of our friends and going for a drink or two. Tomorrow night however I intend on partying like it is 1999, a year in which I would have been nine, which I feel is actually appropriate because I feel like I will have the excitement level of a child at Christmas!
On a complete aside can I just mention how much I am Loving , with a capital L, Meghan Trainors "All about that Bass". Loving celebrating us Size Queens!
So back on track, today is the last day of my awful job and I couldn't be more excited. Leaving work will never be so awesome ever again. Until then I am going to get the place ready for the next poor soul and then do the minimum amount of work I possibly can to make up for all those days I left ages after close of business!!!!
To new beginnings!
TODAY IS MY LAST DAY IN THE OFFICE!
TODAY IS MY LAST DAY IN THE OFFICE!!!
I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it...and yes I am listening to The Pointer Sisters right now!
Never in my life has there been a more appropriate time.
My life literally starts today! Well it starts officially at half five I suppose!
I have instructed my boyfriend to be outside at 5:30 because I will not be able to wait to share my absolute elation with him!!!
I will have to hold off doing an insane little dance till we get down the street a little because this year may have been awful but I am not so rude as to show how excited I am never to see this place again!
Of course I can't celebrate fully tonight as I am in fact working in my new job tomorrow! Minding the babógs (babies for those irishly challenged), so tonight I will be frequenting my favorite Indian with my boy and two of our friends and going for a drink or two. Tomorrow night however I intend on partying like it is 1999, a year in which I would have been nine, which I feel is actually appropriate because I feel like I will have the excitement level of a child at Christmas!
On a complete aside can I just mention how much I am Loving , with a capital L, Meghan Trainors "All about that Bass". Loving celebrating us Size Queens!
So back on track, today is the last day of my awful job and I couldn't be more excited. Leaving work will never be so awesome ever again. Until then I am going to get the place ready for the next poor soul and then do the minimum amount of work I possibly can to make up for all those days I left ages after close of business!!!!
To new beginnings!
Thursday, 25 September 2014
Does anyone out there love rainy days?
Cause I love rainy days!
You'd think that living in Ireland I would be sick and tired of the rain and I can't deny that there are days when I wake up and look and see rain..again...and again and again and I just want to scream but I do love particular types of rainy days!
You know lovely winter Sundays when you have nothing to do but ramble around your house in your cosy pyjamas, with a big warm scarf and a cosy cup of tea and look at the rain outside your window. I love those days oh so much.
I'm sitting in the office (my second last day here as it happens, tomorrow at 5:30 will be one of the best days of my life!) looking out the window and it is getting overcast and unlike the many people out there who are probably praying the rain away I'm hoping it will arrive! I want it to rain before I leave work. I want to get soaked walking home and jump straight into a hot shower when I get in the door. I want to get out and jump straight into my pyjamas and curl up in bed with my boyfriend and binge watch "Law and Order: SVU".
God I love the winter.
So alot has changed in my life in the last few weeks. It's all about to change even more now. All exciting changes and all good. My two best friends are pregnant! I'm so excited for them! Soon we'll have two little tiny babies for me to dote over and the girls are going to be wonderful mothers!
But with this brings a lot of changes. Gone are our wild nights out and hungover days watching movies. My girly nights now are going to consist of ice cream and movies and early nights but I'm ok with that. It does mean however that I am going to be at a loose end when it comes to blowing off a little steam away from the boyf and I don't think this is a bad thing either. Drinks with the girls was always a nice way to unwind but it's probably not the healthiest way to do it.
Leaving myawful, soul sucking, hellish lovely job is literally going to open up a world of possibilities to me. I am leaving my full time "cushy" office job as a receptionist to become a part time childminder/furniture restorer. Everyone in my life thinks I am insane. I'm fairly certain my parents want to catch me and shake me till my silly "ideals" fall out of my head but in fairness they were the ones who encouraged me to do what made me happy. They just thought that what made me happy would mean teaching like my mother. What a rude awakening they received.
But I will show them all!
First and foremost my new career move has opened up more time for me. I have, for all my life been working or in school or in college as have most people, however for me. growing up on a farm there was no such thing as "free time". If I wasn't busy, or I didn't have plans then I was working. It didn't leave a lot of me time.
When I left for college I had more time but there was always an assignment to do or a class to attend or even just some social event of some sort that took up my time and I didn't pursue my hobbies half as much as I'd have liked too. I went straight into full time work as soon as I finished college and lets just say my time management is not the best and I'm usually being dragged between cleaning, cooking, shopping, family, friends, gym and my boyfriend. Again not leaving much time for me. So to tie everything back together and prove I am not just rambling aimlessly my new job means tha I will have a two day week every second week and a four day week every other. That gives me alot of time off. I've been dreaming about it these last few weeks in the office. And this is indefinitely as well. But as I dreamed something has dawned on me. I don't really know what to do with my time.
Well that's not true, I have six million things to do with my time my pinterest boards alone will attest to that but I guess I';m just not used to having so much alone time free to fill with whatever I want and not what I'm obliged to do. And in thinking about this I realised how very little time I have to myself to blow off steam and to unwind. In living and working with my boyfriend (in our furniture business) I am very rarely alone. Like entirely alone. Without interruption.
My idea of unwinding is going to meet the girls but as I mentioned they won't be at my constant disposal anymore because they've got their own busy lives to handle.
It has begun to dawn on me that for the first time in my life I have time.
Time to pursue all the projects, hobbies and plans I've put aside for "Next week" for the last few years. And not only that but I'll also have money.
Good lord. I've hit the jackpot.
And I am so excited. My brain may just implode.
Which would be a shame, I'd miss all my lovely time!!!
I have millions of plans and the top of my list is to become good at managing this free time because I'm afraid it will come upon me and I will just spin in a circle like a miserable little headless chicken never fully committing to one project or plan because I'll be trying to do them all at one time!
And I want to make something of this blog.
I like writing, I wouldn't have a degree in English and History if I didn't!
So I'd like to pick a major project each week and try to document my life change here.
I'm going from having my life dictated by those around me to becoming the master of my own destiny for the first time ever and it is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.
I want a record of this time. I want to look back at sixty and say I did that. I learned how to give myself time, I stopped putting the things that give me pleasure in life on the long finger and I just did them. I feel brave at the moment, terrified of the big change deep down and daunted almost by all this unscheduled life, but over all I feel brave and excited. I feel like there will be bad weeks and good weeks but for the first time ever I am doing something that is for me.
So here's my question, given all the free time you've ever wanted what would you do?
You'd think that living in Ireland I would be sick and tired of the rain and I can't deny that there are days when I wake up and look and see rain..again...and again and again and I just want to scream but I do love particular types of rainy days!
You know lovely winter Sundays when you have nothing to do but ramble around your house in your cosy pyjamas, with a big warm scarf and a cosy cup of tea and look at the rain outside your window. I love those days oh so much.
I'm sitting in the office (my second last day here as it happens, tomorrow at 5:30 will be one of the best days of my life!) looking out the window and it is getting overcast and unlike the many people out there who are probably praying the rain away I'm hoping it will arrive! I want it to rain before I leave work. I want to get soaked walking home and jump straight into a hot shower when I get in the door. I want to get out and jump straight into my pyjamas and curl up in bed with my boyfriend and binge watch "Law and Order: SVU".
God I love the winter.
So alot has changed in my life in the last few weeks. It's all about to change even more now. All exciting changes and all good. My two best friends are pregnant! I'm so excited for them! Soon we'll have two little tiny babies for me to dote over and the girls are going to be wonderful mothers!
But with this brings a lot of changes. Gone are our wild nights out and hungover days watching movies. My girly nights now are going to consist of ice cream and movies and early nights but I'm ok with that. It does mean however that I am going to be at a loose end when it comes to blowing off a little steam away from the boyf and I don't think this is a bad thing either. Drinks with the girls was always a nice way to unwind but it's probably not the healthiest way to do it.
Leaving my
But I will show them all!
First and foremost my new career move has opened up more time for me. I have, for all my life been working or in school or in college as have most people, however for me. growing up on a farm there was no such thing as "free time". If I wasn't busy, or I didn't have plans then I was working. It didn't leave a lot of me time.
When I left for college I had more time but there was always an assignment to do or a class to attend or even just some social event of some sort that took up my time and I didn't pursue my hobbies half as much as I'd have liked too. I went straight into full time work as soon as I finished college and lets just say my time management is not the best and I'm usually being dragged between cleaning, cooking, shopping, family, friends, gym and my boyfriend. Again not leaving much time for me. So to tie everything back together and prove I am not just rambling aimlessly my new job means tha I will have a two day week every second week and a four day week every other. That gives me alot of time off. I've been dreaming about it these last few weeks in the office. And this is indefinitely as well. But as I dreamed something has dawned on me. I don't really know what to do with my time.
Well that's not true, I have six million things to do with my time my pinterest boards alone will attest to that but I guess I';m just not used to having so much alone time free to fill with whatever I want and not what I'm obliged to do. And in thinking about this I realised how very little time I have to myself to blow off steam and to unwind. In living and working with my boyfriend (in our furniture business) I am very rarely alone. Like entirely alone. Without interruption.
My idea of unwinding is going to meet the girls but as I mentioned they won't be at my constant disposal anymore because they've got their own busy lives to handle.
It has begun to dawn on me that for the first time in my life I have time.
Time to pursue all the projects, hobbies and plans I've put aside for "Next week" for the last few years. And not only that but I'll also have money.
Good lord. I've hit the jackpot.
And I am so excited. My brain may just implode.
Which would be a shame, I'd miss all my lovely time!!!
I have millions of plans and the top of my list is to become good at managing this free time because I'm afraid it will come upon me and I will just spin in a circle like a miserable little headless chicken never fully committing to one project or plan because I'll be trying to do them all at one time!
And I want to make something of this blog.
I like writing, I wouldn't have a degree in English and History if I didn't!
So I'd like to pick a major project each week and try to document my life change here.
I'm going from having my life dictated by those around me to becoming the master of my own destiny for the first time ever and it is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.
I want a record of this time. I want to look back at sixty and say I did that. I learned how to give myself time, I stopped putting the things that give me pleasure in life on the long finger and I just did them. I feel brave at the moment, terrified of the big change deep down and daunted almost by all this unscheduled life, but over all I feel brave and excited. I feel like there will be bad weeks and good weeks but for the first time ever I am doing something that is for me.
So here's my question, given all the free time you've ever wanted what would you do?
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