Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts

Saturday, 10 January 2015

The post I hoped wouldn't happen so soon.

So I hoped I'd get further before a bad day and I hope to get further again without a bad day. So what was it three days? I'm aiming for four next week! It's hard to convey sarcasm here. That was sarcastic. I'll have to get a sign!

So I'll get to my bad day later but first I want to write about something, I'm sitting here this morning watching "Katie Hopkins: My Fat Story" and cleaning the house.

I don't know if anyone has seen this but it has annoyed me. I look at it and I know it's not ok to be overweight. I can't speak for anyone else and I know that some people love the way they are at whatever weight they are and that is their perogitive. I suppose the only thing I can say is that factually it is not ok to be overweight and it is not ok to be underweight. That is fact. Everyone is entitled to there own life choices but what is irratating me about Katies opinions is that she has not struggled with food her whole life. I know people argue the genetics thing and personally I only allow myself a small per cent of "Well all my family are over weight so it must be genetic", maybe half a per cent. I never bought into the opinion that I was overweight because of my family or my genetics. I may have a propensity to gain weight genetically, a slow metabolism or some other thing but I also have the choice to do something about it. I'm not saying that this is easy. It is the hardest thing I will probably ever do in my life because while I don't buy into the "genetically fat" thing but I definitely think that food is an addiction and Katie Hopkins is not addicted to food.

She will loose weight as soon as she reduces her calories. I don't eat 6000 calories a day. I eat between 1700 and 200 and I exercise and I struggle to lose weight. So this is not a fair experiment. That is my problem with this. She forced herself to eat the food. It was difficult for her to eat the food. It is not hard for me. I could eat that in a day and I know it. I am irratated by her blase statements. Most fat people are hard enough on themselves and her extra awfulness isn't really neccessary. I spent my childhood being lambasted by my father, negitively attacked about my weight, forced into exercise and made to feel judged by him every time I ate. It culminated in me paying alot of money to loose four stone unhealthily and develop bulemia.

That is what fat blasting did to me. I spent just one year making myself sick all the time and I am sorry for the content of this post but I am very annoyed by this show. I was lucky to curb the issue so quickly. Other people suffer for years and I still suffer from some of the after effects of that year, one of the worst of my life but in my mind that awfulness was easier then seeing my fathers dissappointment as I gained weight once more, as I failed again. I failed because I did not beat my food addictiona dn I did not encorporate a healthy exercise regime into my daily life. Katie is right about one thing, to loose weight you don't need to do some crazy fad diet you need to eat less and move more but that is not as easy as it sounds.

I gained back every pound I lost and added a stone on to it. I met my boyfriend and he has done nothing but encourage me and it is with him that I know I will lose weight. I do not mean that it is only with him that I can lose weight but for the first time in my life I have positive support. Someone who does not judge me, someone who walks with me but doesnt force me to push further or go every day.

Katie Hopkins opinion that fat people should be bombarded with abuse etc is entirely counterproductive.

I just got irratated by this, she has never been inside my mind when I zero in on a craving and want something. I am scared by it. I cannot easliy disuade myself when I want to eat a fifth slice of cake. It is not a serious as drug addiction but by god try and get between me and food when I want it and I will kill you. I have argued with my boyfriend over the smallest comment about food. If I want something my brain will convince me I need to have it. It is nothing short of an addiction and I am struggling with it every day. My friend might drive through mac donalds drive through and think nothing of not ordering but in my mind the call is too strong. I need it right then when I'm there. For me to go through and order something is a small success. Or not even so small. Food is everywhere and I spend large protions of my day fighting my extremely strong cravings. An addict can usualy go cold turkey and avoid the substanse they are additiced too. I cannot. Food is everywhere. If someone was an alcholic the people in their lives would never offer them a drink. I walk in the door to my mothers house and the offers come "would you like a sandwich...some biscuits...some cake...a scone" and I have to steel my resources and say no every time when my mind is screaming eat it. Does she have to go through that. No. She doesn't it is as simple as that. Her body fights the food. Her mind says please no more so she will never, ever understand how it feels to be obese. She can understand how it fees phsically but she will never understand it emotionally.

Rant over.

Now myself I had a weak day yesterday. I ate mc donalds for breakfast and did badly for the rest of the day and I will put my hands up. I blamed it on tiredness and a long week but in reality it was just a weak day on my part. I was tried. It was a long week but I will have more days like that and they are the days I have to be strong. So my goal for this week is to be strong on the bad days. I will get through the next six days from now until next saturday and I will not go over my goal once.

Then we'll deal with the week after when it arrives!

My measurements for this week:
Chest: 46.5 inches
Waist: 43.5 inches
Stomach: 54.5 inches
Arms: 18 inches
Thighs: 34 inches

I think those measurements have scared me more than anything. I have gained at least two inches in most places since I last did them I think I'm going to skip on the scales for a while and just measure. In two weeks time I'm going to measure again and we'll see how I'm going.

So thats all I can manage for the moment. I'm off horseriding!

Monday, 5 January 2015

Day 2.

Long, long, long day.

I had to stay on two extra hours on my first day back in work and I'm feeling the christmas blues!

Not a great day, some eating happened because I had to stay late in work and wasn't prepared for that (i.e I was hungry but had no food of my own left) but not a terrible day either. I got in 20 minutes of Pilates. I am going to pay for that in the morning. I also got a new job today, another one and this is definitely going to relieve some stresses and stuff thats not conducive to the healthiest lifestyle ever!!

So I'm going to take today as a win. I'll probably try take every day as a win, I'm an optimist but it was a good day considering and I was also back on my feet all day as opposed to at home lazing on the couch as I did quite a lot over christmas!

Day 364 down and won!

363 days to go!

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/queasy


Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Ups and Downs

This shit is tough.

No like unbearably tough but I have bad days. Days where I cry because I get tired. Tired of watching everything  I eat and feeling guilty if I don't work out for more than two days! I know that this is mainly because of my diet and that I really need to beat myself back into a routine but it's tough.

I know excuses, excuses right? But it is. I'm at a point in my life where I never have an excess of money. I know most people don't these days but week to week it is a struggle. I only have about 25 euro a week that I can spend on food ad my boyfriend pays 25 too so we have 50 in total but that has to be for both of us and he definitely does not eat all the same stuff as I have to. So with my meager budget I do the best I can but inevitably by the end of the week we'll have a night or two without proper dinners.

I try my best every week not to let it happen but it does.

We shop normally on tuesdays so I often end up with several bad days of eating at the end and it is ruining my diet. Any weight I lose during the week I put on at the weekend.

So I'm ahead in some ways. I know my problem. I have the same routine every week. I buy food tuesday evening and I eat well and I'm good till friday and I loose weight and then saturday comes and two things happen, or three. Firstly I drink. Normally once a weekend, sometimes twice and what is affordable? Beer! so thats what? Six gazillion calories? Empty ones at that! The drinking inevitably leads to hangovers (Why I can't understand?)  and hangover leads to cravings for CARBS!!! My very best friends! Carbs and sweets! And hangovers don't exactly breed the best moods for whipping up healthy meals and going for long walks. No they lead to me eating a bag of doritos and a jar of dip and sitting on the couch all day long! Oh ye and take aways happen too. God I need to learn to avoid these pitfalls!

The next big problem is my boyfriends mother! Now don't get me wrong! I love her! She's larger than life, funny, and a great cook. We go to her house every sunday (again usually hungover) and she plies us with masses of food! She will ply us with rasher sandwixhes before our butts hit the chair and then it's "Tea? Tea? would you like some tea?No? Well some coke then! Or a glass of milk?" and then of course we have to stay for dinner. Obviously. And I say ok...just a little cause it's always so damn tempting. Of course a little in her mind is enough to feed at least four people! And if you don't eat every last bit she's convinced you hated it!

The next thing to happen is dessert "sure you'll have some won't you?Just a little!You will! and my will power on those days is just not strong enough. And she just won't let you say no! Now I can hear people already shouting "Woah!No! She's a sabeteur and evil etc etc" as people are want to do on the interweb but she's just an Irish mammy and that is the long and short of it.

So I suppose others are also thinking well if you know your problems you know how to solve them. I suppose all excuses aside I can solve them. This weekend we have my dear Paulies birthday and I'm plannig a mahoosive surprise party for him! So that means drinks and cake and other such stuff but I will try my hardest to be disciplined and to drag myself out of the hangover slump and make some damned healthy food!

I need to stop thinking of the weekend as different and to start treating it like every other day when I work my butt off.

On the upside I am feeling fairly positive but then again it is wednesday and that is always one of my high motivation days! I busted my ass off while walking to work and I sweated buckets! I was very proud of myself!

I've got a very busy evening ahead of me. However last night, after the shop, I did something I always plan on doing but never actually do. I came home, took all the veg I'd bought and chopped it all up and put it in lunch boxes and threw it in the fridge! I then prepped my lunch last night for the first time in ages and now I have a lovely quesadilla for my lunch!Woop! I feel so organized and good! And then I beat my ass in the road this morning and I'm really feeling positive.

Lets hope it lasts!

Monday, 2 June 2014

Movtivation Wanted! Apply within!

Good god. I am so sick of this bouncing around. I went down so quick I gained so quick. I know that I will never get where I need to unless i stick with my goals.

I have to incorporate excercise into my routine. I cannot seem to make myself to get out of the chair and go to the gym, go to the pool, go for a walk!

I have had a bad few weeks. My boyfriend told me something really serious about two weeks ago and it's really hit me hard. Something quite awful happened to him around the time that we got together and I never knew. It explains alot about things we've argued about over the last year and it's going to take a long time to work through it. Honestly it's really upsetting me. I don't really know how to get over this but we will. It's also a really sensitive situation and it's going to be difficult to learn how to work with this but we'll get there.

However something good has also come from this. We discussed it and currently we live with several people in a lovely big house but because theres six of us theres never any space and it's been getting to me quite a bit. I often find the kitchen occupied and by the time its free I don't feel like cooking. Also we can't freeze stuff because we only have one measly little freezer drawer. For example this evening when I cook dinner I have to use half the amount I normally would and try make just two portions when it would be easier to make a big batch, eat some and freeze the rest. Then on those evenings when I get home tired and takeaway seems easier I'd have a ready made healthy meal in the freezer.

So long story short we're getting our own apartment and it will do wonders for us. I'll have space and a clean house and my own fridge with a big freezer etc. So over all it's been a pretty crazy few weeks and my weight is really getting me down at the moment. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat about myself but it's hard when I cannot get down past 18 stone. I just want to see seventeen on the scales again. I know the only way this will happen is to get off my ass and go for a walk. And then eat healthy. And avoid sugar. And carbs. Simples right?

Not.

Friday, 23 May 2014

One disaster after another!

So I got home yesterday super duper super excited.

MY PHONE WAS HERE!

I was so excited.

I opened it all up, all shiny and brand new, and popped in my sim card. I turned it on and started set up and...it crashed. FOUR TIMES! And then basically everything started going wrong. I don't know why shit like this ha[[ens but it really got me down last night. I'm still pretty down about it. It was a spontaneous, luxury buy I definitely couldn't afford and it bit me right in the ass. It kept crashing and there were stupid little pixelated lines flashing randomly on the screen and most of the apps wouldn't open when I tried them. I'm actually devastated. It was one of those buys that you do it and go "Oh shiiiiit, I shouldn't have done that, but now it's done I'll just go with it" and now I'm well and truly paying for it. I'm sending it back of course. I was going to get it replaced but then the guilt set in. I know I can't afford this, I know I need the money and I know I have to send it back and get a refund. It was so close though. I held it in my hand, I took pictures with it!

And now I have to send it back and go back to my awful little ten euro phone and accept that I won't be seeing a phone like that for a long while. And it's pretty shitty. But I'm going away for a weekend in three weeks and of course i have mountains of bills coming up so I just cant afford a phone, and probably won't be able to get one any time in the near future. I checked my next upgrade, it's not until november. Huh. Depression session.

So now I'm going to return it and do the sensible thing and take the refund. I hate being sensible.

So still no camera for Caoimhey. I need a better job. Or for my furniture to start selling. Then I'd be flying.

Huuuuh. When I'm older and rich and all that, then I'll be fine, right?

I'm going to try and commandeer my mothers camera (which is awful) so we'll see where we're at in a few days but anyway. That was my shitty day yesterday.

On the positive side of things I did some hardcore pilates last night and I felt so good this morning that when I woke up I felt like, yes felt like going for a run. So I did.

A run is being seriously optimistic now, overstating to say the least!

I got up with one intention to run for five minutes or just under. I wasn't going to push myself too hard. So I set off ran for three and a half minutes which seems like nothing but it was tough. I then sprinted for like ten seconds and you know what I feel great about it! Even if it was nothing compared to other people for me it was a marathon! My chest was burning, I had a moment of going oh god maybe I'm dying but I was being dramatic.

But still a run, however short is still a run. And I'm going out horse riding this evening. More calories!!

So in short while I feel this is a bad thing (about my phone) I know that in reality it's not. I'll wait seven months for my upgrade and I'll try afford a point and shoot in the next few months! And on the fitness/health/my life going well side of things then it's all pretty good!

I'm better than I was yesterday and thats enough for me!

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

#100happydayschallenge

So I've decided to do the #100happydayschallenge whereby I post a picture of something, anything that makes me happy every day for 100 days!

And it's that simple!

I'm also going to tie it in with #100DaysofFitness challenge where I will work out for a half an hour every day for 100 days!Even if it's just a walk or anything like that!

So day one will start tomorrow!

Recipes of Interest.

I'm sure I, as someone who loves food and yet wants to lose weight, am not alone in looking up millions of recipes I hope I can squish into my daily diet in order to make it a bit less dull.

I am not necessarily the worlds greatest baker/cook but I love doing it and I love trying new things! 

I have pinterest boards dedicated to food and I am a regular trawler of foodgawker(great website for foodies out there!) and I find that a lot of the time "Healthy" recipes are either super super complicated or have ingredients that are difficult to find in Ireland with out going to a health store and spending €10 for a small packet of something or other.

Now I also am not a fan of all these things that people use that are apparently healthy and then I find the recipe is full of "such and such an extract" or xanthos gum or other things that I cannot pronounce and have no interest in. I just don't trust these things. They may or may not be beneficial for your health but honestly I have no idea, and honestly I am not going to go to the time or effort of locating these (often expensive) things when I am not interested in gluten free or vegan or any of those things. I simply want good food thats low calorie and either low sugar or sugar free. The only thing I give in and use is stevia and stevia products. Honestly even these I am wary about. I would like to do a bit more research into finding a good one thats as natural as possible because frankly the thought of all those chemicals scare me!

So if I look at a recipe and its fairly free of all those things that sound like they would be in a science lab and it has sugar I just sub in a stevia product and I'm ready to go, with it being low enough calories obviously!

So this week I'm planning on trying a few new recipes. I'm going to go ahead and pick a breakfast, snack, lunch and dinner from the web this week and in my amateur kitchen try them out and see how well or horrendously they turn out!

So first and foremost, Breakfast:

 I love breakfast time, I love something nice and wholesome and  interesting for my brekkie and my meals usually center around fruit and maybe some carbs and almost always yogurt. So I found a lovely parfait that just sounds yummy so I'm going to paste the original blog and recipe and then I'm going to make my own substitutions.



It looks beautiful doesn't it?

I want it now. Like right now.

I'm seriously hungry looking at it! 

Now the recipe calls for whole milk and for peaces! I am going to make the substitution of unsweetened Almond milk purely because I like it and also mango instead of peaches purely because I love mangos and they were 39 c for one in Dunnes!

Now I'm also going to omit the toasted almonds also but that is just personal preferrence. I think I might also add some linseed because it's good for you!

I think I'll make this one tomorrow morning and I'll snap a few pics and post how it turned out tomorrow!

Lunch:

I love my carbs and there is nothing better than a good old grilled cheese toastie. However unfortunately for me I only have to so much as look at a sliced pan and I pile on six million pounds. Obviously not literally but the moral of the story is I avoid carbs as much as possible (or at least I try) and I have been very interested in cauliflower crust pizzas and other cauliflower subbing for bad nasty bread!

However up until now I've been put off each recipe I've looked at for one reason or another, until the day before yesterday when I found a recipe for toasted cheesy's over on The Iron You. The pictures looked nothing short of incredible.

Cauliflower Crust Grilled Cheese

Doesn't that look melt in your mouth delicious?

Naturally being a cheese toasty fan I immediately stuck this on the list of recipes I want to try.
I'm not going to make any subs to this, I am going to follow it step by beautiful step and aside from the fact I might sneak in a bacon medallion just 'cos!

Here's the link to the original (ingenious) recipe over at The Iron You, Grilled Cheese Toasty

Dinner

Myself and Paul are exceptionally fond of take out, who isn't? Chinese would be a favorite, closely following Pizza, (stay tuned for cauliflower pizza) and I love to try make take out dishes at home and a bit healthier. So when I stuck this original recipe into my fitness pal (the original is from Iowa Girl Eats) it was still a bit too heavy on calories for me! I made my own substitutions for example I won't be using vegetable oil but low cal cooking spray, I also have a little less chicken because I eat smaller portions than the original recipe. Paul will have a regular sized portion of chicken but admittedly it is skimming a few extra cals off this recipe.

Oops...I forgot to say what the recipe was...I'll be cooking Sesame Chicken!

And here's what it will (hopefully) look like!



So as I said I'm making some subs and omissions to make it lower calorie for example I will not be using as much honey. Unfortunately even with the cutting of the honey this is still very high in sugar but for a treat once a week I won't die!

So now with breakfast, lunch and dinner covered I'll move onto the snack. now I have two snacks a day, one at 11 which is generally savory and one smaller one, under about 150 cals in the evening. That one tends to be sweet. Now on work days they're all fairly standard, average things (although I might be having my cheese toasty tomorrow, we'll see!) so on weekends I like to go big or go home as they say here!

So I found these tasty treats on Girl Who Bakes and I am dying to try them!



I will definitely be trying these on Saturday morning! I really look forward to trying them and I'm also going to attempt to make a chocolate sauce from Soya cream to add to these!

I want it to be Saturday now god damn it!

Anyway after that exceptionally long entry I am going to take my leave! I will be posting as I try each recipe and will let everyone know what subs I made, how they were in comparison to their full caloried counterparts etc.

Excited to try all these now!

Monday, 19 May 2014

Regular day in the life of my diet

Breakfast
120 grams of low fat yogurt
2 rusks
Cup of green tea

Snack
blaa (for those who don't live in Ireland thats a kind of floury bap) with 2 sausages.
(I normally wouldn't eat this for snack but I was super hungry cause I normally have a bigger breakfast)

Lunch
Chicken and stuffing sandwich
Butternut Squash Soup

Snack
Apple
2 rusks

Dinner
60 grams steak burger
30 grams of mozzerella
Brocolli
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 cup of peas.

evening snack: apple

totals for the day:
1 serving out of 2 dairy
3 out of four carbs
5 out of six protein
3 out of 3 restricted veg
1 free veg(brocolli)
1 out of five fruits
2 litres of Water

Over all today it was ok.
The snack of a blaa is too much calorie wise but I was starving as i had gotten up late and didn't have time for a proper breakfast. I also need to inject more fruit in tomorrow, which was also due to the lack of food in our presses so tomorrow I'll try squish in my regular fruit intake. But yeah all in all quite a good day. Still abit too carb focused but I can work on that!