Good god. I am so sick of this bouncing around. I went down so quick I gained so quick. I know that I will never get where I need to unless i stick with my goals.
I have to incorporate excercise into my routine. I cannot seem to make myself to get out of the chair and go to the gym, go to the pool, go for a walk!
I have had a bad few weeks. My boyfriend told me something really serious about two weeks ago and it's really hit me hard. Something quite awful happened to him around the time that we got together and I never knew. It explains alot about things we've argued about over the last year and it's going to take a long time to work through it. Honestly it's really upsetting me. I don't really know how to get over this but we will. It's also a really sensitive situation and it's going to be difficult to learn how to work with this but we'll get there.
However something good has also come from this. We discussed it and currently we live with several people in a lovely big house but because theres six of us theres never any space and it's been getting to me quite a bit. I often find the kitchen occupied and by the time its free I don't feel like cooking. Also we can't freeze stuff because we only have one measly little freezer drawer. For example this evening when I cook dinner I have to use half the amount I normally would and try make just two portions when it would be easier to make a big batch, eat some and freeze the rest. Then on those evenings when I get home tired and takeaway seems easier I'd have a ready made healthy meal in the freezer.
So long story short we're getting our own apartment and it will do wonders for us. I'll have space and a clean house and my own fridge with a big freezer etc. So over all it's been a pretty crazy few weeks and my weight is really getting me down at the moment. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat about myself but it's hard when I cannot get down past 18 stone. I just want to see seventeen on the scales again. I know the only way this will happen is to get off my ass and go for a walk. And then eat healthy. And avoid sugar. And carbs. Simples right?
Not.
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Monday, 2 June 2014
Friday, 23 May 2014
One disaster after another!
So I got home yesterday super duper super excited.
MY PHONE WAS HERE!
I was so excited.
I opened it all up, all shiny and brand new, and popped in my sim card. I turned it on and started set up and...it crashed. FOUR TIMES! And then basically everything started going wrong. I don't know why shit like this ha[[ens but it really got me down last night. I'm still pretty down about it. It was a spontaneous, luxury buy I definitely couldn't afford and it bit me right in the ass. It kept crashing and there were stupid little pixelated lines flashing randomly on the screen and most of the apps wouldn't open when I tried them. I'm actually devastated. It was one of those buys that you do it and go "Oh shiiiiit, I shouldn't have done that, but now it's done I'll just go with it" and now I'm well and truly paying for it. I'm sending it back of course. I was going to get it replaced but then the guilt set in. I know I can't afford this, I know I need the money and I know I have to send it back and get a refund. It was so close though. I held it in my hand, I took pictures with it!
And now I have to send it back and go back to my awful little ten euro phone and accept that I won't be seeing a phone like that for a long while. And it's pretty shitty. But I'm going away for a weekend in three weeks and of course i have mountains of bills coming up so I just cant afford a phone, and probably won't be able to get one any time in the near future. I checked my next upgrade, it's not until november. Huh. Depression session.
So now I'm going to return it and do the sensible thing and take the refund. I hate being sensible.
So still no camera for Caoimhey. I need a better job. Or for my furniture to start selling. Then I'd be flying.
Huuuuh. When I'm older and rich and all that, then I'll be fine, right?
I'm going to try and commandeer my mothers camera (which is awful) so we'll see where we're at in a few days but anyway. That was my shitty day yesterday.
On the positive side of things I did some hardcore pilates last night and I felt so good this morning that when I woke up I felt like, yes felt like going for a run. So I did.
A run is being seriously optimistic now, overstating to say the least!
I got up with one intention to run for five minutes or just under. I wasn't going to push myself too hard. So I set off ran for three and a half minutes which seems like nothing but it was tough. I then sprinted for like ten seconds and you know what I feel great about it! Even if it was nothing compared to other people for me it was a marathon! My chest was burning, I had a moment of going oh god maybe I'm dying but I was being dramatic.
But still a run, however short is still a run. And I'm going out horse riding this evening. More calories!!
So in short while I feel this is a bad thing (about my phone) I know that in reality it's not. I'll wait seven months for my upgrade and I'll try afford a point and shoot in the next few months! And on the fitness/health/my life going well side of things then it's all pretty good!
I'm better than I was yesterday and thats enough for me!
MY PHONE WAS HERE!
I was so excited.
I opened it all up, all shiny and brand new, and popped in my sim card. I turned it on and started set up and...it crashed. FOUR TIMES! And then basically everything started going wrong. I don't know why shit like this ha[[ens but it really got me down last night. I'm still pretty down about it. It was a spontaneous, luxury buy I definitely couldn't afford and it bit me right in the ass. It kept crashing and there were stupid little pixelated lines flashing randomly on the screen and most of the apps wouldn't open when I tried them. I'm actually devastated. It was one of those buys that you do it and go "Oh shiiiiit, I shouldn't have done that, but now it's done I'll just go with it" and now I'm well and truly paying for it. I'm sending it back of course. I was going to get it replaced but then the guilt set in. I know I can't afford this, I know I need the money and I know I have to send it back and get a refund. It was so close though. I held it in my hand, I took pictures with it!
And now I have to send it back and go back to my awful little ten euro phone and accept that I won't be seeing a phone like that for a long while. And it's pretty shitty. But I'm going away for a weekend in three weeks and of course i have mountains of bills coming up so I just cant afford a phone, and probably won't be able to get one any time in the near future. I checked my next upgrade, it's not until november. Huh. Depression session.
So now I'm going to return it and do the sensible thing and take the refund. I hate being sensible.
So still no camera for Caoimhey. I need a better job. Or for my furniture to start selling. Then I'd be flying.
Huuuuh. When I'm older and rich and all that, then I'll be fine, right?
I'm going to try and commandeer my mothers camera (which is awful) so we'll see where we're at in a few days but anyway. That was my shitty day yesterday.
On the positive side of things I did some hardcore pilates last night and I felt so good this morning that when I woke up I felt like, yes felt like going for a run. So I did.
A run is being seriously optimistic now, overstating to say the least!
I got up with one intention to run for five minutes or just under. I wasn't going to push myself too hard. So I set off ran for three and a half minutes which seems like nothing but it was tough. I then sprinted for like ten seconds and you know what I feel great about it! Even if it was nothing compared to other people for me it was a marathon! My chest was burning, I had a moment of going oh god maybe I'm dying but I was being dramatic.
But still a run, however short is still a run. And I'm going out horse riding this evening. More calories!!
So in short while I feel this is a bad thing (about my phone) I know that in reality it's not. I'll wait seven months for my upgrade and I'll try afford a point and shoot in the next few months! And on the fitness/health/my life going well side of things then it's all pretty good!
I'm better than I was yesterday and thats enough for me!
Monday, 19 May 2014
Regular day in the life of my diet
Breakfast
120 grams of low fat yogurt
2 rusks
Cup of green tea
Snack
blaa (for those who don't live in Ireland thats a kind of floury bap) with 2 sausages.
(I normally wouldn't eat this for snack but I was super hungry cause I normally have a bigger breakfast)
Lunch
Chicken and stuffing sandwich
Butternut Squash Soup
Snack
Apple
2 rusks
Dinner
60 grams steak burger
30 grams of mozzerella
Brocolli
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 cup of peas.
evening snack: apple
totals for the day:
1 serving out of 2 dairy
3 out of four carbs
5 out of six protein
3 out of 3 restricted veg
1 free veg(brocolli)
1 out of five fruits
2 litres of Water
Over all today it was ok.
The snack of a blaa is too much calorie wise but I was starving as i had gotten up late and didn't have time for a proper breakfast. I also need to inject more fruit in tomorrow, which was also due to the lack of food in our presses so tomorrow I'll try squish in my regular fruit intake. But yeah all in all quite a good day. Still abit too carb focused but I can work on that!
120 grams of low fat yogurt
2 rusks
Cup of green tea
Snack
blaa (for those who don't live in Ireland thats a kind of floury bap) with 2 sausages.
(I normally wouldn't eat this for snack but I was super hungry cause I normally have a bigger breakfast)
Lunch
Chicken and stuffing sandwich
Butternut Squash Soup
Snack
Apple
2 rusks
Dinner
60 grams steak burger
30 grams of mozzerella
Brocolli
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 cup of peas.
evening snack: apple
totals for the day:
1 serving out of 2 dairy
3 out of four carbs
5 out of six protein
3 out of 3 restricted veg
1 free veg(brocolli)
1 out of five fruits
2 litres of Water
Over all today it was ok.
The snack of a blaa is too much calorie wise but I was starving as i had gotten up late and didn't have time for a proper breakfast. I also need to inject more fruit in tomorrow, which was also due to the lack of food in our presses so tomorrow I'll try squish in my regular fruit intake. But yeah all in all quite a good day. Still abit too carb focused but I can work on that!
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