Still going strong

So here I am, more than a month into the new year and a few weeks in into my really truly serious attempt to loose weight. I am currently down eight pounds and half an inch from every measurement!
Before thus wouldn't have seemed big enough but my heads in a better place and I am well and truly ecstatic about these results!
I also have my phone back so better access to a camera etc hence the few snaps in this post starting with NEW HAIR!!!!

I LOVE DYING MY HAIR!
and it is always a snap decision. I woke up this morning and was like "fuck it, why not!
and this is the result:

And yes I need to dye the top of my hair and I planned too. I bought the dye and everything and my dear boyfriend decided to "tidy" one day and they disappeared. I cannot find them anywhere.

I am just a colour whore. I love them, these colours in particular, if everything in my house/life were a variation of these colours I'd be happy.

I've been good for some tasty healthy meals over the last few days perhaps not including the one above but for a chocoholic I need a bit of chocolate every now and then. I can't deal with cold turkey.

 This one was definitely a bit better, some delicious grapes and bananas and a lovely chicken curry!
I'm starting to enjoy healthy eating again! It can be more effort to prep but I'd rather do that and see the scales go downwards tbh.

I've also been out and about all week with the kids. It's freezing (for ireland) at the moment here but the weather is stunningly crisp. I love this weather. Wrap up well and you don't even notice the cold. It's just so beautiful out!

My job is great and sees me in parks(above) and on beaches (right) and back in the park invariably most days. Kids love slides. "Big slide" is the phrase of the day for me most days. When I walk in every morning that's what I hear. "Sher Sher (James is only two and can't say Caoimhe) biga slide?" the "biga" is on purpose, he can't say big without an added "a" yet.

I was sick last week all week long..it was horrible. I hate not being up and about. I kept trying to clean etc but I'd get super weak and have to sit down. It was frustrating, probably more so for my poor boyf because I was like a demon. I hate not doing anything. But because of it I didn't exercise all week. In fact aside from work this week I didn't get much this week either. I was still too drained but I'm going back to Pilates tonight (god love me I wont be able to move in two days time!) and I'm very much looking forward to it. Also I am thankfully down half an inch from everywhere so I'm feeling quite bolstered about that!

In other news I watched the good wife season 5 episode 15 this week. I wont give away anything so no spoilers don't worry but let me just say bravo writers. I am a tv show person and I love a good one. I'm a battlestar fan, a firefly fan, I watch the walking dea and all the other hip shows, in fact my repertoire of shows is an embarrassing tell of how much time I spent watching tv in college but the good wife is my current obsession because...well its wonderful. Friends have tried in vain to make me watch it before this but I resisted because I'm a fantasy/sci fi kinda girl and lawyer shows have never caught my attention before but when it popped up enough times on Netflix and I was in need of a good old binge (tv binge mind you) I gave it a go. I soon had my boyfriend and myself hooked and it has been our nightly routine for weeks. Hanging on every word screaming with frustration at every up and down and most importantly getting extremely invested in the characters. It is safe to say that we are addicts. And then season five happened. As I said no spoilers here but my heart will forever be just a tint bit broken. It was so out of the blue and devastating. I honestly think it affected me more than most other bombshells from most shows including the red wedding and other such awful moments from all the greats. I have gone cold turkey. I spent the ep crying and insisting i hated the show, especially because they'd made me love it so. I have refused point blank to watch it since. I just can't. My boyfriend has told me I can have the week and then I have to push through. And I will. Reluctantly. Very very very reluctantly. So I advise people to watch it but steel yourself for pain. And I mean pain.

I also had some good news today. Mydoctor took some bloods last week and one of them was to check for diabetes. I was terrified that I had gone too far and irreparably damaged my body but thankfully it was all good news. In fact excellent news. My bloods were perfect. My cholesterol was perfect my liver, kidneys and heart functioning to the best of their ability. Most importantly, no diabetes. I think this was the fright I needed. I might not be so lucky the next time if I continue without changing anything. So I was really pleased to hear this and I was able to take a proper breath for the first time since I had the bloods.

Just because I'm in a good mood I'm going to throw in a bonus pic of my adorable little worm kitten sitting in my washing machine!

So that would be my update for the moment. I am, again going to try do this more regularly (I don't think it will ever happen) but we'll see. I'm now going to go back to pacing in my kitchen watching tv and trying to hit 10,000 steps today!

Ups and Downs

This shit is tough.

No like unbearably tough but I have bad days. Days where I cry because I get tired. Tired of watching everything  I eat and feeling guilty if I don't work out for more than two days! I know that this is mainly because of my diet and that I really need to beat myself back into a routine but it's tough.

I know excuses, excuses right? But it is. I'm at a point in my life where I never have an excess of money. I know most people don't these days but week to week it is a struggle. I only have about 25 euro a week that I can spend on food ad my boyfriend pays 25 too so we have 50 in total but that has to be for both of us and he definitely does not eat all the same stuff as I have to. So with my meager budget I do the best I can but inevitably by the end of the week we'll have a night or two without proper dinners.

I try my best every week not to let it happen but it does.

We shop normally on tuesdays so I often end up with several bad days of eating at the end and it is ruining my diet. Any weight I lose during the week I put on at the weekend.

So I'm ahead in some ways. I know my problem. I have the same routine every week. I buy food tuesday evening and I eat well and I'm good till friday and I loose weight and then saturday comes and two things happen, or three. Firstly I drink. Normally once a weekend, sometimes twice and what is affordable? Beer! so thats what? Six gazillion calories? Empty ones at that! The drinking inevitably leads to hangovers (Why I can't understand?)  and hangover leads to cravings for CARBS!!! My very best friends! Carbs and sweets! And hangovers don't exactly breed the best moods for whipping up healthy meals and going for long walks. No they lead to me eating a bag of doritos and a jar of dip and sitting on the couch all day long! Oh ye and take aways happen too. God I need to learn to avoid these pitfalls!

The next big problem is my boyfriends mother! Now don't get me wrong! I love her! She's larger than life, funny, and a great cook. We go to her house every sunday (again usually hungover) and she plies us with masses of food! She will ply us with rasher sandwixhes before our butts hit the chair and then it's "Tea? Tea? would you like some tea?No? Well some coke then! Or a glass of milk?" and then of course we have to stay for dinner. Obviously. And I say ok...just a little cause it's always so damn tempting. Of course a little in her mind is enough to feed at least four people! And if you don't eat every last bit she's convinced you hated it!

The next thing to happen is dessert "sure you'll have some won't you?Just a little!You will! and my will power on those days is just not strong enough. And she just won't let you say no! Now I can hear people already shouting "Woah!No! She's a sabeteur and evil etc etc" as people are want to do on the interweb but she's just an Irish mammy and that is the long and short of it.

So I suppose others are also thinking well if you know your problems you know how to solve them. I suppose all excuses aside I can solve them. This weekend we have my dear Paulies birthday and I'm plannig a mahoosive surprise party for him! So that means drinks and cake and other such stuff but I will try my hardest to be disciplined and to drag myself out of the hangover slump and make some damned healthy food!

I need to stop thinking of the weekend as different and to start treating it like every other day when I work my butt off.

On the upside I am feeling fairly positive but then again it is wednesday and that is always one of my high motivation days! I busted my ass off while walking to work and I sweated buckets! I was very proud of myself!

I've got a very busy evening ahead of me. However last night, after the shop, I did something I always plan on doing but never actually do. I came home, took all the veg I'd bought and chopped it all up and put it in lunch boxes and threw it in the fridge! I then prepped my lunch last night for the first time in ages and now I have a lovely quesadilla for my lunch!Woop! I feel so organized and good! And then I beat my ass in the road this morning and I'm really feeling positive.

Lets hope it lasts!

One disaster after another!

So I got home yesterday super duper super excited.

MY PHONE WAS HERE!

I was so excited.

I opened it all up, all shiny and brand new, and popped in my sim card. I turned it on and started set up and...it crashed. FOUR TIMES! And then basically everything started going wrong. I don't know why shit like this ha[[ens but it really got me down last night. I'm still pretty down about it. It was a spontaneous, luxury buy I definitely couldn't afford and it bit me right in the ass. It kept crashing and there were stupid little pixelated lines flashing randomly on the screen and most of the apps wouldn't open when I tried them. I'm actually devastated. It was one of those buys that you do it and go "Oh shiiiiit, I shouldn't have done that, but now it's done I'll just go with it" and now I'm well and truly paying for it. I'm sending it back of course. I was going to get it replaced but then the guilt set in. I know I can't afford this, I know I need the money and I know I have to send it back and get a refund. It was so close though. I held it in my hand, I took pictures with it!

And now I have to send it back and go back to my awful little ten euro phone and accept that I won't be seeing a phone like that for a long while. And it's pretty shitty. But I'm going away for a weekend in three weeks and of course i have mountains of bills coming up so I just cant afford a phone, and probably won't be able to get one any time in the near future. I checked my next upgrade, it's not until november. Huh. Depression session.

So now I'm going to return it and do the sensible thing and take the refund. I hate being sensible.

So still no camera for Caoimhey. I need a better job. Or for my furniture to start selling. Then I'd be flying.

Huuuuh. When I'm older and rich and all that, then I'll be fine, right?

I'm going to try and commandeer my mothers camera (which is awful) so we'll see where we're at in a few days but anyway. That was my shitty day yesterday.

On the positive side of things I did some hardcore pilates last night and I felt so good this morning that when I woke up I felt like, yes felt like going for a run. So I did.

A run is being seriously optimistic now, overstating to say the least!

I got up with one intention to run for five minutes or just under. I wasn't going to push myself too hard. So I set off ran for three and a half minutes which seems like nothing but it was tough. I then sprinted for like ten seconds and you know what I feel great about it! Even if it was nothing compared to other people for me it was a marathon! My chest was burning, I had a moment of going oh god maybe I'm dying but I was being dramatic.

But still a run, however short is still a run. And I'm going out horse riding this evening. More calories!!

So in short while I feel this is a bad thing (about my phone) I know that in reality it's not. I'll wait seven months for my upgrade and I'll try afford a point and shoot in the next few months! And on the fitness/health/my life going well side of things then it's all pretty good!

I'm better than I was yesterday and thats enough for me!

#100happydayschallenge

So I've decided to do the #100happydayschallenge whereby I post a picture of something, anything that makes me happy every day for 100 days!

And it's that simple!

I'm also going to tie it in with #100DaysofFitness challenge where I will work out for a half an hour every day for 100 days!Even if it's just a walk or anything like that!

So day one will start tomorrow!

habits newly formed

So I'm taking a leaf out of people all around the internets books and I'm going to try and do my own little version.

I need things to be easy or I get disheartened. (a.k.a known as I'm a quitter!) I've tried running and I've done quite well with it, at one point I was running 6k and I was super proud of myself but for hundreds of reasons to tired and boring to write down here I gave up!

When I see tall, lean girls obviously bursting with power sprinting on the beach loving their bodies I get so jealous. I know what it felt like when I finished that first six k with a sprint and felt alive and awesome and then I stopped soon after.

I told myself a million things but the truth is I want to be a person who runs!

I want to be fit and flexible. And I think that a combination of Pilates and running will help me achieve the body and level of fitness I crave.

And I'm going to ease myself into it initially.

So heres my little plan...I will set up two or three small goals for the week, each week and complete them and nothing more. I tend to start, feel a bit stronger and push to hard and start to hate the stuff.

So here we go!

now technically it's the end of a week and i also have my weigh in days on tuesday so I think Monday and Tues are the days I'll pick. Now until then I'm going to give myself a leg up and start today and then officially start on Monday!

Week 1
5 x 5 x 5 x 5 

• 5 sit up/ab exercises
• 5 press ups
• 5 minutes jogging/running (intervals to begin with)
• 5 minutes Pilates

I'm also going to include 5 minutes of stretching and five minutes of cooldown too.

I can easily fit these into my daily routine(which is my main excuse for skipping out) and for this wekk this is all I'm going to do. Just ease myself into it!

To hold myself accountable I'm going to check in everyday I'm doing it (I'm going to do six days, rest on sunday) I might cut it back to five when I start reaching higher levels of things and what not but as it stands that really is a doddle so I can't justify cutting it any more!

So I'm hoping that in twelve or thirteen weeks time I'll be doing quite well fitness wise!
I hope!