Hungover and...hungover...

So last night as I mentioned we were going to a 1920s party! So I'm going to post my first photo!

Woooooo!!!!!

I have to say I felt a million dollars last night!!I really felt awesome!I think the 20s was my era!And that handsome devil beside me is my wonderful boyfriend!

We had a great night! The party itself was fun but then myself and my better half headed off and went dancing to terribly cheesy music in of the nightclubs in our area! We got home laughing and unfortunately with....a chicken wrap and chips...dun dun dun...However I'm not too upset! It wasn't great but look one bad meal won't make or break your diet just like one healthy meal does not a healthy diet make!

I had lots and lots of fun, we looked Fabulous! And something I'm quite happy to admit, I felt sexy and was brimming with confidence and I think despite a little downfall I'm going to console myself and say I danced off at least some of the calories!

And another photo for bonuses..

 

habits newly formed

So I'm taking a leaf out of people all around the internets books and I'm going to try and do my own little version.

I need things to be easy or I get disheartened. (a.k.a known as I'm a quitter!) I've tried running and I've done quite well with it, at one point I was running 6k and I was super proud of myself but for hundreds of reasons to tired and boring to write down here I gave up!

When I see tall, lean girls obviously bursting with power sprinting on the beach loving their bodies I get so jealous. I know what it felt like when I finished that first six k with a sprint and felt alive and awesome and then I stopped soon after.

I told myself a million things but the truth is I want to be a person who runs!

I want to be fit and flexible. And I think that a combination of Pilates and running will help me achieve the body and level of fitness I crave.

And I'm going to ease myself into it initially.

So heres my little plan...I will set up two or three small goals for the week, each week and complete them and nothing more. I tend to start, feel a bit stronger and push to hard and start to hate the stuff.

So here we go!

now technically it's the end of a week and i also have my weigh in days on tuesday so I think Monday and Tues are the days I'll pick. Now until then I'm going to give myself a leg up and start today and then officially start on Monday!

Week 1
5 x 5 x 5 x 5 

• 5 sit up/ab exercises
• 5 press ups
• 5 minutes jogging/running (intervals to begin with)
• 5 minutes Pilates

I'm also going to include 5 minutes of stretching and five minutes of cooldown too.

I can easily fit these into my daily routine(which is my main excuse for skipping out) and for this wekk this is all I'm going to do. Just ease myself into it!

To hold myself accountable I'm going to check in everyday I'm doing it (I'm going to do six days, rest on sunday) I might cut it back to five when I start reaching higher levels of things and what not but as it stands that really is a doddle so I can't justify cutting it any more!

So I'm hoping that in twelve or thirteen weeks time I'll be doing quite well fitness wise!
I hope!

I'm getting into the habit of this!

So theres a little few things i want to gush about in this post, I can't say for sure this will even be the last one today!I'm really enjoying doing this now that I've gotten into the habit of it!

First and foremost something I've been super excited about and anticipating all week is about to happen tomorrow(I hope) and while everyone has been saying "don't do it" to me I'd like to state to all the Windows phone haters out there that unlike, it seems everyone else, I love Windows 8 on a phone!!

I was due an upgrade there about a year ago and I dislike android phones. Now I know obviously theres way more apps etc. but I suppose that's not so important to me! I just don't like the interface on samsung phones, or sony phones, or really any of them! I just don't think they look pretty! And honestly I couldn't bring myself to give in and buy an Iphone. I also have an ipod...so I gave in a wee bit whatevs...so anything I want on appstore I can get on that!Honestly I don't even have any apps on my ipod anyway!I lose it half the time and it's dead most of the other half!

So anyway long story short, I had this upgrade and I went in one day, hungover off my head, and I am notorious for making snap, rash and often terrible ideas when I'm hungover. So I went in and was browsing not really knowing what I wanted and I saw something pretty. A bright blue phone, with beautiful lines and a big petty screen and i was drawn to it. So I read the specs, 8mp camera (I like photography and this was good for a phone, at the time, I know now that you can get way better cameras on phones) and (I may have been swayed by the name here) Dre Beats audio and really it was just so dammmmmn purdy and in my hungover state I wanted it!. So I called the shop assistant and asked her how much it was with my upgrade(turns out it was free) and was shocked when she said "I'll check for you but I really wouldn't get that phone, nobody likes it!". Imagine a shop assistant slamming a product like that? Honestly I should have rethought my choice then but on this occasion I am so very glad I didn't.

I asked her why and when her reply was that she was an apple girl not a windows head I shrugged, said I hated apple and signed on the dotted line, I walked away with my shiny new HTC 8X and I never regretted it.

I turned it on and saw the beautiful interface and I fell in love.

Instantly.

And I never fell out of love. Sure there are fewer apps but it's so pretty pretty pretty and apps don't bother me too much.

And the camera rocks and it was just wonderful owning my baby.

And then something terrible happened. I drop my phone on a regular basis and my poor oul phone couldn't take that one last drop. I dropped it directly onto the edge of a curb and it cracked right along the screen.

I genuinely mourned it and I still get upset when I think about it(I'm a giant nerd I know) and so when I went to get it repaired and they told me it would cost 270 euros to fix my screen I died inside a little bit. I couldn't afford that. So I went on the hunt and researched windows phones of the moment. I eventually settled on the Nokia Lumia 920 and I found one online for 200 squidoles and I pulled the trigger. And it's going to be here tomorrow!!!!!!

I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like a kid on christmas. I'm not sure I'll sleep tonight!

But anyway my point is that seeing as my poor old point and shoot gave up the ghost recently and my phone of the moment is a nokia prehistoric and I keep saving for the dslr I will one day own but life is expensive, I currently don't have any camera (except for a poloroid) in my life at the moment and it's killing me little by little. Anyhoo my point is expect photos from tomorrow on!

For example the other thing I'm excited about is I got a new haircut yesterday! I'd like to share it! I didn't change it much. I got a little cut off it and a side fringe cut in but I also took my undercut up a bit higher on one side so now you can see it even when my hairs down! I think it's pretty but tomorrow I'll be able to put it up for the world(the two or three people who may see it)to see!

And I'm going to a 1920's party tomorrow night so that too will be fun!

I might post my make up before we go!

And I get to wear a pretty dress which is always good!

  I will try my best to contain myself and not post again today.

I can't say I will suceed.

My life Plan

Wow...what an ambituous title eh?

I honestly try to pretend I don't have a plan because then if I don't have one it can't get messed up on me right?

But secretly like everyone I imagine the direction I'd like my life to go!

I'd like to stay with Paul, get maried and have a few childers and set up a cosy, comfy home in the country.

I'd like to get fit enough to be able to do handstands and curl up like a pretzel and be able to run five miles without batting an eyelid.

I'd like to get my montessori qualification and teaching some smallies some interesting things!

And my pet dream?My secret, I don't think it can ever happen dream?I would love to make my living off making, upcycling and renovating furniture.

And I've taken steps towards my dream. I'm just leaving it linger up there with all my other dreams I'll incubate but never try.

A couple of weeks ago, well more than a month ago now I decided to do up a few pieces of charity shop furniture that I bought for my kitchen and loved it. Of course I had a large amount of paint left and everyone was raving about the furniture saying I should do it and I stumbled upon a beautiful wooden writing desk that someone was selling because they were emigrating. I offered them an obscenely low amount of money(because I'm poor you understand) and I was lucky enough to have my offer accepted with one stipulation. It had to be collected that evening.

My car is only a little mazda 2 and while it is a beast of a little thing that has fold down seats it's also not the biggest car and I was worried that it wouldn't fit in that back of my little mazzie but regardless, at nine o clock at night me and Paul left waterford to drive to wexford and hope and pray that this desk fit when we got there!

It was exciting!It might not seem it now but it was we were midnight driving, putting in the miles to show our comittment to our new idea.

Fast forward a couple of months, we have now found a little studio(an old stable at my home house) and we've bought lots of little odds and ends of furniture that are in various states of paintedness.

Last week we hit a little milestone and put our first piece up!

I was super excited the first day and I feel like it will be better when I put up other pieces and theres less focus on one little set of nest tables, but it's so scary. I'm technically "the Talent" and I'm not being cocky here, I am the ideas person and Paul is the buissnessy ends of things. We both put in the grunt work and Paul is starting to pitch in a few ideas of his own, but I still feel that all the pressure is on my ideas to sell.

I have developed a tick at this stage. I open any internet browser and automatically type "mail.yahoo.co.uk" and I hold my breath, hoping theres and offer. And there  isn;t. An I know, it's only been up a while and I should calm down but I'm neurotic.

I'm trying to reign in my wild ideas that are screaming "Your ideas are terrible, no one likes it and you should just knock the price to 30 and sell it!" but instead I'm thinking calm down. You'll never know until to you try but goddamn it's scary!!

So I'm going to sign off here and (probably go check my mailbox) try make myself understand that sucess doesn't happen over night and as is the same with my weight it's just one foot in front of the other every day!

(and in case anyone wants to have a look heres our first piece soon to be followed by many others!)
https://www.etsy.com/ie/listing/189224998/hand-painted-decoupauged-table?

In summary today has been quite terribel food wise.

I would say I have consumed a little over 2000 calories.

The only thing thats in my advantage is that none of these meals/snacks contained sugar and alot of it was fruit or protein however over is over so I'm going to snap my little socks up and make sure that tomorrow I stick to my servings like a good girl!

Onwards and upwards!!

I got home yesterday evening and pottered off to the shop and got some deliciopus, healthiful food so now I'm all stocked up and prepared and ready to go!

The next thing I'm going to need to focus on is my excercise (huuuuuuhhhhhhhh). I am PUMPPPPED!!

Well I'm trying to be....I used to be very good for getting up and going but when I started the last time the diet worked so well I kind of let the exercise thing slip. It's pretty hard to tell yourself that you need to work out when you're regularly loosing six or seven pounds but thats what was missing from my diet. 

My boyfriend said something yesterday about how he was looking forward to seeing me skinny and I said "Ye, me too!" and he said "You were though?" now of course as I am really critical of myself I probably was alot skinnier than I thought at the time but I still saw myself as the same person. Now when I look back at pictures I notice the difference but I didn't then.

And the main reason was that my body might have been smaller but it was no more toned. I wasn't working out so while my body was shrinking it wasn't tightening up any.

So as I mentioned I do love pilates and I just bought Pilates for Dummies and I'm going to pick up a few dvds...I know there are work out videos there online etc but I just find it hard to keep finding the same one and not get distracted by others and therefore I don't stick with them.

Also while I'm obviously happy to have lost several pounds quickly I don't think it's healthy or maintainable so I'm going to up my servings by one again and just start walking a bit more and doing my pilates and aim for two pounds a week!

And I am going to say goodbye to this booty forever...well not all of it!

Paul also said something else to me last night while we were chatting. I was talking about how when I was down to fourteen stone I was still taking size 16 jeans because I've got a rather sizeable derriere and that that was why I wanted to focus on exercise so that my body shape would change as well as my body size. Then he turned around and said "I think around that weight would be perfect for you" and I was shocked. I always had in my head about how guys want this tiny little stick thin girl etc. and while that wouldn't influence my decisions and stuff I assumed Paul was a verified member of the "Thigh Gap club". Now personally at 5ft 10 I alwaya felt that if I got down to the recommended weight for my height which is around 12 stone 5 that I would look like a clothes hanger with some skin on it. I am not only tall but I have rather broad sholders and as I said good baby making hips and a big oul booty. I never aimed to get down to 12 stone.

My perfect weight I think would be around 13stone 12 to 14 stone ish. And that's my goal! I've always said if I could get to a size fourteen but be fit and toned and healthy I'd be one happy girl and while Paul would never begrudge me loosing as much as I wanted it was nice to know that he had the same ideal in his head as I did.

I'd like to point out also that Paul has always been supportive of me. He fell in love with me at this size and I believe him when he says he wouldn't care if I didn't change! Now I know there will be cynics out there who go "yeah sure thats what he says" and while yes I'm sure he wouldn't fight against me loosing weight I mean come on if he told me he was going to go workout everyday for the next year I wouldn't say no to the inevitable six pack but I am happy with him as he is. If he never changed I would love him still the same and I know thats how he feels about me too.

Fortunately for him I plan on becoming a better version of myself anyway! 

I'm going to try and make myself get in the habit of this blogging thing!

Not just on bad/good days but anyway. This is my third way in day. To get it up to scratch I'm weighing myself once a week on Tuesdays and currently my cameras broken but I plan to follow with pictures once a week so I can see my progress which I think I need.

Anyway first Tuesday, I lost 7 pounds woop woop, a big loss but I have a lot to loose. Now I was just doing diet no exercise which is what happened the first time I lost weight and it didn't stick I know I'm going to have to work in healthy exercise as well as healthy eating. I love love love Pilates so I'm going to try go for a half hour walk at least three times a week and do a half hour of Pilates at least twice or three times(it's summer now Pilates in the garden Saturday morning?yes please!).

The first week I didn't incorporate any I basically reduced my diet to 1,250 cals and cut out all forms of sugar, chocolate etc. I'm also sticking to a low carb plan so that seems to be working and that was grand.

Fast forward to the next Tuesday and I'd been a little less strict and had been unprepared on a particular day to go babysitting and ended up in the peoples home without having eaten dinner and without having brought food with me. They left me a pizza. I resisted for as long as I could and tried to find something healthier but they didn't seem to have anything. I was doing a particularly long shift there from 4:30 in the evening till one in the morning and by 11ish I was starving. Not only did I give in and eat half a pizza (worth about 800 calories) I ate three chocolate bars and a cream egg.

The next day I vowed to be back on it but the floodgates (slowly) opened and I found myself giving in to little bits of sugar here and there. However when last tuesday arrived and I stepped up to the scales I found I had lost five pounds! I was delighted..almost a stone in two weeks. Of course this lulled me into a false sense of security. I could eat a bit more surely and obviously the sugar wasn't so bad etc. etc. and this week went from bad to worse. On a night out I indulged in half of a large takeaway pizza, I also gave into to chinese one night and due to a very hectic week I have still not managed to get my shopping in and we are down to some bare ass looking cupboards right now. yesterday evening I got home from work at 10 to six and scoffed a bagel before I ran to a neighbors to tutor their kid for an hour got home at seven and had to leave again for eight o clock(every days not usually this insane, just mondays and tuesdays) and looked in the fridge to realise we had nothing. Well thats a lie we actually had cheese. But that was that. I didn't have time to shop, I hand't left out meat to defrost and I was starving. What was easy, cheap and cheerful? The chipper up the road. I had been guiltily snacking on sweet stuff here and there all week, I had had three, count em, three takeaways and I was not optimistic today as I stepped on the scale.

And I got what I expected and then some. I thought maybe I'd be the same, maybe I'd be up a pound or so. No. I was up four. I am currently back up to 18 stone 9 pounds. God that was depressing. My boyfriend immediately came over and hugged me and said "day by day baby" and asked did I know where I'd gone wrong, which I did. Honestly normally something like this would make me depressed for the day but he talked me around. He told me what I already knew but I do like to wallow sometimes. He told me that I knew where I'd gone wrong I knew what to do to be back down the four next week, that this was a minor speed bump in my long journey and they were bound to happen. He was the voice of reason I always try to ignore when I want to feel sorry for myself. And after five minutes of hugging and him saying these things out loud I felt buoyed. So thats it. Sugars gone again. For longer than a week and a half this time. and even if I end up doing my shopping at one in the morning I cannot let our presses go unstocked again because the temptation of takeaway when your starving and strapped for time is just too strong.