I'm going to try and make myself get in the habit of this blogging thing!

Not just on bad/good days but anyway. This is my third way in day. To get it up to scratch I'm weighing myself once a week on Tuesdays and currently my cameras broken but I plan to follow with pictures once a week so I can see my progress which I think I need.

Anyway first Tuesday, I lost 7 pounds woop woop, a big loss but I have a lot to loose. Now I was just doing diet no exercise which is what happened the first time I lost weight and it didn't stick I know I'm going to have to work in healthy exercise as well as healthy eating. I love love love Pilates so I'm going to try go for a half hour walk at least three times a week and do a half hour of Pilates at least twice or three times(it's summer now Pilates in the garden Saturday morning?yes please!).

The first week I didn't incorporate any I basically reduced my diet to 1,250 cals and cut out all forms of sugar, chocolate etc. I'm also sticking to a low carb plan so that seems to be working and that was grand.

Fast forward to the next Tuesday and I'd been a little less strict and had been unprepared on a particular day to go babysitting and ended up in the peoples home without having eaten dinner and without having brought food with me. They left me a pizza. I resisted for as long as I could and tried to find something healthier but they didn't seem to have anything. I was doing a particularly long shift there from 4:30 in the evening till one in the morning and by 11ish I was starving. Not only did I give in and eat half a pizza (worth about 800 calories) I ate three chocolate bars and a cream egg.

The next day I vowed to be back on it but the floodgates (slowly) opened and I found myself giving in to little bits of sugar here and there. However when last tuesday arrived and I stepped up to the scales I found I had lost five pounds! I was delighted..almost a stone in two weeks. Of course this lulled me into a false sense of security. I could eat a bit more surely and obviously the sugar wasn't so bad etc. etc. and this week went from bad to worse. On a night out I indulged in half of a large takeaway pizza, I also gave into to chinese one night and due to a very hectic week I have still not managed to get my shopping in and we are down to some bare ass looking cupboards right now. yesterday evening I got home from work at 10 to six and scoffed a bagel before I ran to a neighbors to tutor their kid for an hour got home at seven and had to leave again for eight o clock(every days not usually this insane, just mondays and tuesdays) and looked in the fridge to realise we had nothing. Well thats a lie we actually had cheese. But that was that. I didn't have time to shop, I hand't left out meat to defrost and I was starving. What was easy, cheap and cheerful? The chipper up the road. I had been guiltily snacking on sweet stuff here and there all week, I had had three, count em, three takeaways and I was not optimistic today as I stepped on the scale.

And I got what I expected and then some. I thought maybe I'd be the same, maybe I'd be up a pound or so. No. I was up four. I am currently back up to 18 stone 9 pounds. God that was depressing. My boyfriend immediately came over and hugged me and said "day by day baby" and asked did I know where I'd gone wrong, which I did. Honestly normally something like this would make me depressed for the day but he talked me around. He told me what I already knew but I do like to wallow sometimes. He told me that I knew where I'd gone wrong I knew what to do to be back down the four next week, that this was a minor speed bump in my long journey and they were bound to happen. He was the voice of reason I always try to ignore when I want to feel sorry for myself. And after five minutes of hugging and him saying these things out loud I felt buoyed. So thats it. Sugars gone again. For longer than a week and a half this time. and even if I end up doing my shopping at one in the morning I cannot let our presses go unstocked again because the temptation of takeaway when your starving and strapped for time is just too strong.