Day 1. I think the fit people are on to me.

So this will be short and sweet, I'm back to the daily toil tomorrow and I am turning in ealry to compensate for two weeks of breaking good habits and staying in bed till ten every day.

Today was alamost a disaster.

But I turned it around. Yes I did. (I may be listening to James Morrison right now, I'm getting all soulful!)

I started off great. Up relatively early, healthy brekkie (ish, its  the first day after Christmas a completely healthy breakfast would be a shock to the system) some rice cakes for snack time and then an absolutely delicious lunch of spicy stir fried turkey and some sweet potato wedges. Don't worry I'm not going to document my food every single day, there is a point to this. I was doing good. Being resolved. There's definitely strong cravings for choccy after pretty much giving  into every craving after Xmas but I was doing it in moderation but then my boyfriend suggested a relaxed evening in for our last day off and things caught up with me.

We sat down and tucked into "The Good Wife" and two eps in my resolve was waning. I was tired and the thought of making something healthful for supper was just so daunting. I was also failing on the first day  to get some specifically exercise related activity into my day. Feeling a bit silly and sorry for myself I went over for one pancake, just one of course, with nutella because you can't have pancakes without that.

Fast forward to half eight and I'm sitting on the couch having eaten three, yes three pancakes with Nutella.

The old me would have thought "well, fuck it there's day one gone, we'll start again tomorrow".

I wouldn't have logged my failures, I would have left my diary unfinished and sat there pretending I was actively trying to loose weight. By sitting on a couch scoffing Nutella. So that was a bit of a reality check for me.

Failing three of my four resolutions on day one. Same old me. However something in my head slid oh so gracefully into place and I sat up, entered all my nutella, every last gram (because I weighed it as I binged, cause obviously if you know how much you're eating the calories don't exist, right?) and the three pancakes and then I turned to my boyfriend and told him to get his shoes we were going outside.

So at nine o clock at night we hit off down the road and half an hour later (he's a slower walker than me I would have done it in 25 mins, I swear) we'd done 2.5 km which doesn't seem like much but it was a little success for me. I didn't give up completely because I made some bad choices. I didn't hide from said bad choices and pretend they didn't happen. I owned up to every calorie and I got up and moved.

It's a small but important victory for me. I will sleep comfortably tonight knowing that there one day down of 365.

It may not have been a perfect day but it was a success.

One day down, 364 to go.

p.s just to verify, my diary is viewable here. You'll just have to trust I'm honest. In the end of the day I'm only fooling myself by...ahem ahem...omitting.

New Year New Me? Most definitely!

Here we are again.

New Year, New Me. Everyone says it about one thing or the other and most people get to the the 10th of January and give up, but every year a some peoples resolutions stick and I want this year to be my year.

Every year since I can remember my resolution has been too loose weight and every year it doesn't happen I feel like a bit more of a failure. So this year I am resolved (that's what they are for after all right) to make it happen. I am slowly eating away my life. In a few years I'll be in my thirties and I could be looking back saying I won't waste my thirties being six stone overweight now's my time to loose it all. Or I could do it. Really, really do it and hit my thirties and look back and say thank God I didn't waste one more minute of my life being overweight.

I am 24 years old and I will not be 54 years old and still trying to deal with my weight problem.

This is my year. I have gone on too many years already and I am determined to do it.

So my resolution will be shared with the Internet. I will document it every single day. 

The good, the bad and the damn ugly things you can expect to hear from me.

I will blog for 365 days in a row and I will document my journey from fat to healthy.

In 365 days I will revisit my resolutions and see how I've done.

And what are these resolutions you may ask?

Well the usual stuff eh?
1. I will get fit.
2. I will eat healthy 80% of the time. (And make reasonably sensible "bad" choices the other 20% of the time.)
3. I will weigh in once every two weeks for the next year.
4. I will log my food and do it honestly on My Fitness Pal every day.
4. I will keep this resolution.

This is my year, and my journey, my turn to be a success story and I am not starting this tomorrow or the next day I am starting it right this minute. I am going to cook a lovely, healthy, meal in a bit and it will be my celebratory meal. It will be the start of the new me.

Things never go to plan do they?

I am going to stop making plans for anything other than the day I am currently living.

What's the saying "While you make plans God's laughing"? Well someone is definitely laughing.

You know how I was planning my super exciting week last week with all my days off etc. Well of course that didn't happen. Oh no. I went out last week to the kids I mind only to discover that the two kids were sick with an awful tummy bug and guess what? By day two I had caught it. I ended up leaving an hour early and I was sick until Thursday and then on Thursday night, Paul (my boyfriend) got sick. Yep. Three days later and we wre barely over it as a house. Every. Single. Plan. Was. Laid. To. Waste.

So I started this week fresh and basically was just wrecked the whole time. Kids are tiring! So today I am fresh and fighting fit! I've been up since seven cleaning and organising (and watching Alphas) and I'm currently sitting here trying to decide what type of scone to bake. I'm leaning towards peanut butter and chocolate because...well because chocolate and peanut butter...no other because needed.

I am in Heaven. 

I sent my boyf off to college this morning and he was checking would I be alright etc. Honestly. I couldn't wait to get him out the door. I have the house to myself. To do whatever I want. To clean and organise without him trailing around behind me making it messy again. I might even play his playstation. Of course as always happens in the week following a sickness I also have a tonne of jobs to do and a to do list on my ipod as long as my leg. I need to go to the post office, buy kitty litter, go to my parents house, paint furniture, buy paint brushes, tax the car, collect my parking permit...shall I continue? I don't think theres a need. My biggest fear is that I won't make good use of my days. I'm used to not having time and squishing everything in and now I have loads. It's kind of scary.

Maybe an overreaction.

But maybe you get my point. It's like letting a kid into a toy store and saying you can choose any one item that you want now go. Theres just so much to choose from I can't pick any one thing. My brain is going five million miles a minute here with all the things I can do.

So I suppose I should just start right?
Instead of sitting here blogging.

I'm going to go bake my scones get rid of all the boring jobs and then....then I am going to the charity warehouse near our house to buy some new furniture. Talk about child in a toy store..I may just die from happiness. It's normally closed when I'm off!!!

Big woop for life changes!

To an unscheduled life!

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

Today.is.my.last.day.in.the.office.

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY IN THE OFFICE!

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY IN THE OFFICE!!!

I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it...and yes I am listening to The Pointer Sisters right now!

Never in my life has there been a more appropriate time.

My life literally starts today! Well it starts officially at half five I suppose!

I have instructed my boyfriend to be outside at 5:30 because I will not be able to wait to share my absolute elation with him!!!

I will have to hold off doing an insane little dance till we get down the street a little because this year may have been awful but I am not so rude as to show how excited I am never to see this place again!

Of course I can't celebrate fully tonight as I am in fact working in my new job tomorrow! Minding the babógs (babies for those irishly challenged), so tonight I will be frequenting my favorite Indian with my boy and two of our friends and going for a drink or two. Tomorrow night however I intend on partying like it is 1999, a year in which I would have been nine, which I feel is actually appropriate because I feel like I will have the excitement level of a child at Christmas!

On a complete aside can I just mention how much I am Loving , with a capital L, Meghan Trainors "All about that Bass". Loving celebrating us Size Queens!

So back on track, today is the last day of my awful job and I couldn't be more excited. Leaving work will never be so awesome ever again. Until then I am going to get the place ready for the next poor soul and then do the minimum amount of work I possibly can to make up for all those days I left ages after close of business!!!!



To new beginnings!

Does anyone out there love rainy days?

Cause I love rainy days!

You'd think that living in Ireland I would be sick and tired of the rain and I can't deny that there are days when I wake up and look and see rain..again...and again and again and I just want to scream but I do love particular types of rainy days!

You know lovely winter Sundays when you have nothing to do but ramble around your house in your cosy pyjamas, with a big warm scarf and a cosy cup of tea and look at the rain outside your window. I love those days oh so much.

I'm sitting in the office (my second last day here as it happens, tomorrow at 5:30 will be one of the best days of my life!) looking out the window and it is getting overcast and unlike the many people out there who are probably praying the rain away I'm hoping it will arrive! I want it to rain before I leave work. I want to get soaked walking home and jump straight into a hot shower when I get in the door. I want to get out and jump straight into my pyjamas and curl up in bed with my boyfriend and binge watch "Law and Order: SVU".

God I love the winter.

So alot has changed in my life in the last few weeks. It's all about to change even more now. All exciting changes and all good. My two best friends are pregnant! I'm so excited for them! Soon we'll have two little tiny babies for me to dote over and the girls are going to be wonderful mothers!

But with this brings a lot of changes. Gone are our wild nights out and hungover days watching movies. My girly nights now are going to consist of ice cream and movies and early nights but I'm ok with that. It does mean however that I am going to be at a loose end when it comes to blowing off a little steam away from the boyf and I don't think this is a bad thing either. Drinks with the girls was always a nice way to unwind but it's probably not the healthiest way to do it.

Leaving my awful, soul sucking, hellish  lovely job is literally going to open up a world of possibilities to me. I am leaving my full time "cushy" office job as a receptionist to become a part time childminder/furniture restorer. Everyone in my life thinks I am insane. I'm fairly certain my parents want to catch me and shake me till my silly "ideals" fall out of my head but in fairness they were the ones who encouraged me to do what made me happy. They just thought that what made me happy would mean teaching like my mother. What a rude awakening they received.

But I will show them all!

First and foremost my new career move has opened up more time for me. I have, for all my life been working or in school or in college as have most people, however for me. growing up on a farm there was no such thing as "free time". If I wasn't busy, or I didn't have plans then I was working. It didn't leave a lot of me time.

When I left for college I had more time but there was always an assignment to do or a class to attend or even just some social event of some sort that took up my time and I didn't pursue my hobbies half as much as I'd have liked too. I went straight into full time work as soon as I finished college and lets just say my time management is not the best and I'm usually being dragged between cleaning, cooking, shopping, family, friends, gym and my boyfriend. Again not leaving much time for me. So to tie everything back together and prove I am not just rambling aimlessly my new job means tha I will have a two day week every second week and a four day week every other. That gives me alot of time off. I've been dreaming about it these last few weeks in the office. And this is indefinitely as well. But as I dreamed something has dawned on me. I don't really know what to do with my time.

Well that's not true, I have six million things to do with my time my pinterest boards alone will attest to that but I guess I';m just not used to having so much alone time free to fill with whatever I want and not what I'm obliged to do. And in thinking about this I realised how very little time I have to myself to blow off steam and to unwind. In living and working with my boyfriend (in our furniture business) I am very rarely alone. Like entirely alone. Without interruption.

My idea of unwinding is going to meet the girls but as I mentioned they won't be at my constant disposal anymore because they've got their own busy lives to handle.

It has begun to dawn on me that for the first time in my life I have time.

Time to pursue all the projects, hobbies and plans I've put aside for "Next week" for the last few years. And not only that but I'll also have money.

Good lord. I've hit the jackpot.

And I am so excited. My brain may just implode.

Which would be a shame, I'd miss all my lovely time!!!

I have millions of plans and the top of my list is to become good at managing this free time because I'm afraid it will come upon me and I will just spin in a circle like a miserable little headless chicken never fully committing to one project or plan because I'll be trying to do them all at one time!

And I want to make something of this blog.

I like writing, I wouldn't have a degree in English and History if I didn't!

So I'd like to pick a major project each week and try to document my life change here.

I'm going from having my life dictated by those around me to becoming the master of my own destiny for the first time ever and it is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.

I want a record of this time. I want to look back at sixty and say I did that. I learned how to give myself time, I stopped putting the things that give me pleasure in life on the long finger and I just did them. I feel brave at the moment, terrified of the big change deep down and daunted almost by all this unscheduled life, but over all I feel brave and excited. I feel like there will be bad weeks and good weeks but for the first time ever I am doing something that is for me.

So here's my question, given all the free time you've ever wanted what would you do?

No High Street, No New New Clothes, only New To Me Clothes for a YEAR!

I'm looking for a new challenge (not as if I don't have enough on my plate what with a new buisness, trying to loose weight, working, living etc.) and I am big into my charity shops and old clothes. My figure in particular suits the older style dresses. I have wardrobes full of them! Those lovely little collared, button down dresses with flared below the knee skirts just look so good on me and I have loads in different patterns, colours etc and I am always on the look out for them when I venture into thrift shops.

Now, as always for me, money is rarely flowing freely enough for me to buy the fancy clothes I love and pine for and I find most high street clothes uncomfertable, poorly fitting and quick to shrink or distort. So naturally I end up digging through bargin bins and sale racks and when they aren't available I found charity shops were great for a nice unusual piece etc. I admit to being a bit of a hipster but I am GOOD at thrifting! I love finding clothes that look hideous or outdated and turning them into something pretty and fashionable and I love nothing more than when someone compliments my clothes and I proudly tell them it was €3 euro! I am a scrouge at heart!

Now for the last few months, nay years, I've been mainly shopping in charity shops from birthdays to weddings to christmas day dinner I have been dressed predominently in "rescue clothes" as my boyfriend calls them. I love picking up a dress and knowing it had histroy and was loved and worn and now it gets to have a second life and do it all over again!It makes me love them a little more than the usual penneys clothes I live in the other half of the time.

It is just so satisfying searching through rails and rails of clothes and finally finding that piece of clothing that makes you squeel and makes your heart race!And to top it all off they rarely cost more than 6 or 7 euro!Now Waterford, where I'm from, has really started to embrace these little shops and we have quite a few wonderful treasure troves to be proud of. I am a regular customer in the 3 WASSA (Waterford Autism society) shops and I love nothing better than spending an hour rooting through their rails to come away with three new dresses, some shoes (I am not a shoe snob I will wear them!although I draw the line there..no underwear for me thanks!) and a nice little upcycling project all for under €25 euro!I have a few particular finds that I am so proud of..For example a 100% wool tweed blazer with a very in fashion leather collar made sometime in the 70s to 80s that I got for €3!!! THREE!!!I will attach a picture and I think it may just have been one of my all time favourite finds!

I've also got a penchant for velvet...(hides in shame) my friends laugh at me. I have a velvet sensor. If there is some velvet in a shop I will find it!And I will buy it...especially black velvet!I have *ahem* five...*ahem*..six...black velvet dresses with only the smallest differences!I cannot walk away from them. In fact I bought a new one yesterday...I have a problem. I cannot help it!But just in general I love velvet dresses and I have more than a few in other colours too.

Anyway long story short as I wandered around the shop yesterday I was thinking to myself how I could find an outfit for any occasion in a charity shop for under 20 quid!I was talking to one of the girls who was complimenting my lovely new chevron dress as we wandered around penneys and I just found it all so...boring.
Isn't it so pretty??

The thought crossed my mind that I'd be happy never to step into one of these shops again. And of course thats an exaggeration but myself and my boyfriend have vowed to live cheaper this year so we can travel more on the weekends and penneys is not as kind on your pocket as it seems so I've decided to try a No High street, No New Clothes Challenge for a year!

 I will have some basics, camis and one pair of jeans that I live in and replace whenever they wear out but aside from that I vow to shop only in vintage shops, charity shops more than the vintage but if I do find a dress I can't leave behind thats a bit more expensive than usual I will have to take it!Providing that it's new to me but not new new! I also do not plan to go this way for underwear as I pointed out above and I also think that this applies to gym wear and pyjamas but aside from these basics the rules are as follows:

1. No shopping in High street stores.
2. Clothes cannot be brand new (unless I'm lucky enough to find brand new in charity shops in which case I must have photographic proof of the item hanging in the charity shop!)
3. Clothes must be bought either online (I will provide links to verify their secondhandedness!) in thrift stores, second hand stores, charity shops or vintage shops!
4. I can alter or add to the clothes in any way I like!In fact I'd like to do more of this!
5. I can, if I really want wear my own handmade items!
6. Any items of clothes I already own that are not exactly Kosher can be worn but I cannot buy any new items and I must try to minimize these items!
7. I can (and most certainly will) buy new shoes but I will try to thrift most of them but I am a shoeaholic so I can not swear off them entirely!(Also I have big feet, size 8, so I often do not find these in charity shops!)
8. I must do this challenge from 03/08/2014 to the 03/08/15!

And thats that!

Here goes nothing!

Ups and Downs

This shit is tough.

No like unbearably tough but I have bad days. Days where I cry because I get tired. Tired of watching everything  I eat and feeling guilty if I don't work out for more than two days! I know that this is mainly because of my diet and that I really need to beat myself back into a routine but it's tough.

I know excuses, excuses right? But it is. I'm at a point in my life where I never have an excess of money. I know most people don't these days but week to week it is a struggle. I only have about 25 euro a week that I can spend on food ad my boyfriend pays 25 too so we have 50 in total but that has to be for both of us and he definitely does not eat all the same stuff as I have to. So with my meager budget I do the best I can but inevitably by the end of the week we'll have a night or two without proper dinners.

I try my best every week not to let it happen but it does.

We shop normally on tuesdays so I often end up with several bad days of eating at the end and it is ruining my diet. Any weight I lose during the week I put on at the weekend.

So I'm ahead in some ways. I know my problem. I have the same routine every week. I buy food tuesday evening and I eat well and I'm good till friday and I loose weight and then saturday comes and two things happen, or three. Firstly I drink. Normally once a weekend, sometimes twice and what is affordable? Beer! so thats what? Six gazillion calories? Empty ones at that! The drinking inevitably leads to hangovers (Why I can't understand?)  and hangover leads to cravings for CARBS!!! My very best friends! Carbs and sweets! And hangovers don't exactly breed the best moods for whipping up healthy meals and going for long walks. No they lead to me eating a bag of doritos and a jar of dip and sitting on the couch all day long! Oh ye and take aways happen too. God I need to learn to avoid these pitfalls!

The next big problem is my boyfriends mother! Now don't get me wrong! I love her! She's larger than life, funny, and a great cook. We go to her house every sunday (again usually hungover) and she plies us with masses of food! She will ply us with rasher sandwixhes before our butts hit the chair and then it's "Tea? Tea? would you like some tea?No? Well some coke then! Or a glass of milk?" and then of course we have to stay for dinner. Obviously. And I say ok...just a little cause it's always so damn tempting. Of course a little in her mind is enough to feed at least four people! And if you don't eat every last bit she's convinced you hated it!

The next thing to happen is dessert "sure you'll have some won't you?Just a little!You will! and my will power on those days is just not strong enough. And she just won't let you say no! Now I can hear people already shouting "Woah!No! She's a sabeteur and evil etc etc" as people are want to do on the interweb but she's just an Irish mammy and that is the long and short of it.

So I suppose others are also thinking well if you know your problems you know how to solve them. I suppose all excuses aside I can solve them. This weekend we have my dear Paulies birthday and I'm plannig a mahoosive surprise party for him! So that means drinks and cake and other such stuff but I will try my hardest to be disciplined and to drag myself out of the hangover slump and make some damned healthy food!

I need to stop thinking of the weekend as different and to start treating it like every other day when I work my butt off.

On the upside I am feeling fairly positive but then again it is wednesday and that is always one of my high motivation days! I busted my ass off while walking to work and I sweated buckets! I was very proud of myself!

I've got a very busy evening ahead of me. However last night, after the shop, I did something I always plan on doing but never actually do. I came home, took all the veg I'd bought and chopped it all up and put it in lunch boxes and threw it in the fridge! I then prepped my lunch last night for the first time in ages and now I have a lovely quesadilla for my lunch!Woop! I feel so organized and good! And then I beat my ass in the road this morning and I'm really feeling positive.

Lets hope it lasts!