Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Ups and Downs

This shit is tough.

No like unbearably tough but I have bad days. Days where I cry because I get tired. Tired of watching everything  I eat and feeling guilty if I don't work out for more than two days! I know that this is mainly because of my diet and that I really need to beat myself back into a routine but it's tough.

I know excuses, excuses right? But it is. I'm at a point in my life where I never have an excess of money. I know most people don't these days but week to week it is a struggle. I only have about 25 euro a week that I can spend on food ad my boyfriend pays 25 too so we have 50 in total but that has to be for both of us and he definitely does not eat all the same stuff as I have to. So with my meager budget I do the best I can but inevitably by the end of the week we'll have a night or two without proper dinners.

I try my best every week not to let it happen but it does.

We shop normally on tuesdays so I often end up with several bad days of eating at the end and it is ruining my diet. Any weight I lose during the week I put on at the weekend.

So I'm ahead in some ways. I know my problem. I have the same routine every week. I buy food tuesday evening and I eat well and I'm good till friday and I loose weight and then saturday comes and two things happen, or three. Firstly I drink. Normally once a weekend, sometimes twice and what is affordable? Beer! so thats what? Six gazillion calories? Empty ones at that! The drinking inevitably leads to hangovers (Why I can't understand?)  and hangover leads to cravings for CARBS!!! My very best friends! Carbs and sweets! And hangovers don't exactly breed the best moods for whipping up healthy meals and going for long walks. No they lead to me eating a bag of doritos and a jar of dip and sitting on the couch all day long! Oh ye and take aways happen too. God I need to learn to avoid these pitfalls!

The next big problem is my boyfriends mother! Now don't get me wrong! I love her! She's larger than life, funny, and a great cook. We go to her house every sunday (again usually hungover) and she plies us with masses of food! She will ply us with rasher sandwixhes before our butts hit the chair and then it's "Tea? Tea? would you like some tea?No? Well some coke then! Or a glass of milk?" and then of course we have to stay for dinner. Obviously. And I say ok...just a little cause it's always so damn tempting. Of course a little in her mind is enough to feed at least four people! And if you don't eat every last bit she's convinced you hated it!

The next thing to happen is dessert "sure you'll have some won't you?Just a little!You will! and my will power on those days is just not strong enough. And she just won't let you say no! Now I can hear people already shouting "Woah!No! She's a sabeteur and evil etc etc" as people are want to do on the interweb but she's just an Irish mammy and that is the long and short of it.

So I suppose others are also thinking well if you know your problems you know how to solve them. I suppose all excuses aside I can solve them. This weekend we have my dear Paulies birthday and I'm plannig a mahoosive surprise party for him! So that means drinks and cake and other such stuff but I will try my hardest to be disciplined and to drag myself out of the hangover slump and make some damned healthy food!

I need to stop thinking of the weekend as different and to start treating it like every other day when I work my butt off.

On the upside I am feeling fairly positive but then again it is wednesday and that is always one of my high motivation days! I busted my ass off while walking to work and I sweated buckets! I was very proud of myself!

I've got a very busy evening ahead of me. However last night, after the shop, I did something I always plan on doing but never actually do. I came home, took all the veg I'd bought and chopped it all up and put it in lunch boxes and threw it in the fridge! I then prepped my lunch last night for the first time in ages and now I have a lovely quesadilla for my lunch!Woop! I feel so organized and good! And then I beat my ass in the road this morning and I'm really feeling positive.

Lets hope it lasts!

Monday, 2 June 2014

Movtivation Wanted! Apply within!

Good god. I am so sick of this bouncing around. I went down so quick I gained so quick. I know that I will never get where I need to unless i stick with my goals.

I have to incorporate excercise into my routine. I cannot seem to make myself to get out of the chair and go to the gym, go to the pool, go for a walk!

I have had a bad few weeks. My boyfriend told me something really serious about two weeks ago and it's really hit me hard. Something quite awful happened to him around the time that we got together and I never knew. It explains alot about things we've argued about over the last year and it's going to take a long time to work through it. Honestly it's really upsetting me. I don't really know how to get over this but we will. It's also a really sensitive situation and it's going to be difficult to learn how to work with this but we'll get there.

However something good has also come from this. We discussed it and currently we live with several people in a lovely big house but because theres six of us theres never any space and it's been getting to me quite a bit. I often find the kitchen occupied and by the time its free I don't feel like cooking. Also we can't freeze stuff because we only have one measly little freezer drawer. For example this evening when I cook dinner I have to use half the amount I normally would and try make just two portions when it would be easier to make a big batch, eat some and freeze the rest. Then on those evenings when I get home tired and takeaway seems easier I'd have a ready made healthy meal in the freezer.

So long story short we're getting our own apartment and it will do wonders for us. I'll have space and a clean house and my own fridge with a big freezer etc. So over all it's been a pretty crazy few weeks and my weight is really getting me down at the moment. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat about myself but it's hard when I cannot get down past 18 stone. I just want to see seventeen on the scales again. I know the only way this will happen is to get off my ass and go for a walk. And then eat healthy. And avoid sugar. And carbs. Simples right?

Not.

Friday, 23 May 2014

One disaster after another!

So I got home yesterday super duper super excited.

MY PHONE WAS HERE!

I was so excited.

I opened it all up, all shiny and brand new, and popped in my sim card. I turned it on and started set up and...it crashed. FOUR TIMES! And then basically everything started going wrong. I don't know why shit like this ha[[ens but it really got me down last night. I'm still pretty down about it. It was a spontaneous, luxury buy I definitely couldn't afford and it bit me right in the ass. It kept crashing and there were stupid little pixelated lines flashing randomly on the screen and most of the apps wouldn't open when I tried them. I'm actually devastated. It was one of those buys that you do it and go "Oh shiiiiit, I shouldn't have done that, but now it's done I'll just go with it" and now I'm well and truly paying for it. I'm sending it back of course. I was going to get it replaced but then the guilt set in. I know I can't afford this, I know I need the money and I know I have to send it back and get a refund. It was so close though. I held it in my hand, I took pictures with it!

And now I have to send it back and go back to my awful little ten euro phone and accept that I won't be seeing a phone like that for a long while. And it's pretty shitty. But I'm going away for a weekend in three weeks and of course i have mountains of bills coming up so I just cant afford a phone, and probably won't be able to get one any time in the near future. I checked my next upgrade, it's not until november. Huh. Depression session.

So now I'm going to return it and do the sensible thing and take the refund. I hate being sensible.

So still no camera for Caoimhey. I need a better job. Or for my furniture to start selling. Then I'd be flying.

Huuuuh. When I'm older and rich and all that, then I'll be fine, right?

I'm going to try and commandeer my mothers camera (which is awful) so we'll see where we're at in a few days but anyway. That was my shitty day yesterday.

On the positive side of things I did some hardcore pilates last night and I felt so good this morning that when I woke up I felt like, yes felt like going for a run. So I did.

A run is being seriously optimistic now, overstating to say the least!

I got up with one intention to run for five minutes or just under. I wasn't going to push myself too hard. So I set off ran for three and a half minutes which seems like nothing but it was tough. I then sprinted for like ten seconds and you know what I feel great about it! Even if it was nothing compared to other people for me it was a marathon! My chest was burning, I had a moment of going oh god maybe I'm dying but I was being dramatic.

But still a run, however short is still a run. And I'm going out horse riding this evening. More calories!!

So in short while I feel this is a bad thing (about my phone) I know that in reality it's not. I'll wait seven months for my upgrade and I'll try afford a point and shoot in the next few months! And on the fitness/health/my life going well side of things then it's all pretty good!

I'm better than I was yesterday and thats enough for me!

Thursday, 22 May 2014

Bit of a hump and a bit of shame(ful)less plugging!

Good Morning!!

I'm sitting here enjoying a lovely bowl of raspberries and yogurt with a rusk crushed up in it (it sounds a bit mad but it's really good and it's vaguely cheesecakey) and watching top gear.

I'll be off to get dressed in a few so I just thought I'd do a little writing!

So first and foremost as I was saying yesterday I had a good day...until the evening. I came home and had my dinner even did a wee bit of shopping for lunches etc. and was doing well. I had three fruit servings ledt so I was going to go out and blend a banana with cocoa powder and some stevia and maybe a drop of honey to have a sort of soft serve ice cream and when I opened the press and saw...fondant. I had totally forgotten I had it. And seeing it there it just seemed so appealing. I took it out and pulled off a lump of it and long story short I ate about three hundred calories of fondant. And god knows how much sugar. I was telling myself not to do it even as I was doing it!

I went and talked to my boyfriend and hes suggested the next time I want to do something like that I should talk to him. I'll give it a try but once I've convinced myself it's hard to sway me. If my will power is a muscle then mine is just a baby muscle, a weakling, a smallie, so I guess I got to work on it!

So thats my little rant and now I wanted to shamelessly plug myself a little bit!

My boyfriend and I are currently trying to start our own little furniture buisness. I'm hoping to move into completely handmade objects sooner rather while continuing some funiture renovation also but we're starting small. We currently have 3 upcycled pieces up on etsy and I'm trying to get the word of our little company out there as much as possible so I thought here would be as good a place as any!

Our first little piece to go up was a lovely little set of decoupaged nest tables









These were our first little venture and they are currently up on our etsy shop!

The next one up was this lovely grey drop leaf table!








Grey/White Drop Leaf Table

And then thirdly we put up a lfull length mirror my boyfriend upcycled

Hand painted mirror

And in that you can see some of the little stable we work in!

And you can see a few of our other little projects!

This weekend we are going to work on that blue chair you see in the picture which we are going to turn into a swing chair!I'm very excited about that!Might do a little decoupaging on it I'm not certain yet yo be honest!It's just at priming stage now!

We're also going to finish up a big project we're doing!It's this beautiful writing desk that we picked up recently and we decided to go with simple and classic! It was originally mahogany and we've decided to go with plain white and black blackboard paint on the drawers and even if I do say so myself it looks great!

So hoping to get the last coat of paint and a lick of varnish on it this weekend!Expect photos soon!

Recipe of the Week: Breakfast

So last week I mentioned I was getting a new phone, hopefully on friday and that after that my blog would be pictureful and lovely, however my phone did not arrive yet. Twice I thought it was here, first on the Friday I expected it. My boyfriend met me for lunch as he does every friday and I asked him about it (you have to understand I was like a kid waiting at the mail box everyday) and he said oh so flippantly "oh ye actually I think it did!". Now I double and triple checked with him, "was it a box?, was it small?/round/big/did it have an aussie stamp" and Paul just said "ye, ye I think so" and I was so excited. I got home so buzzing you wouldn't believe it!

I opened the door and looked straight at the table where the post is left and my heart sank. It was quite clearly not  a phone. It was very obviously a large book and looked nothing like a phone box. I was so disappointed! It was back to the waiting game, so I got home the day before yesterday and saw a lovely little green note saying "sorry we missed you" and I rushed up yesterday morning to pick up my phone. Not. I got to the post depot and handed in my little green slip of happiness and then my face fell. Something else could have been too big to fit through the letter box. Something a lot less exciting than a phone. A lot. I was also waiting on a water bottle. I just knew in that instant that thats what I was waiting for and lo and behold when the guy came back, voila, water bottle. Big fricken woop!

So long story short, I'm still here waiting for my phoneyoneyo and I still have no camera. So this morning when I went to make my breakfast this morning and decided to do the peach parafait my way this morning and I actually thought first it had been a disaster. Turns out it was delicious!

So I'll begin with the place I found this from. I found it over at Dalias Kitchen and boy am I glad! I feel like I will be putting this in my "Saturday morning breakfast" repertoire! I think next time though I'll leave out the soya cream and through in skimmed milk just to knock off a few cals but by god was it worth it this morning. It.was.delissio!

I subbed mango for peaches and I used one tablespoon of honey and then I replaced the rest with Candrel. As I said this is the only chemically thing I agree to use and I'm trying to find a better option thats a little less chemical but this one doesn't leave much of a taste! But anyway i followed the recipe otherwise and the first thing I'd say is that with the mango the morning when your rushing for work is not the best time to chop it so if I was to do this again I'd chop my fruit the day before and I was also considering using some rasberries as another layer!Raspberry and mango? Yes please!

So anyway it took some time and I ended up throwing it into a to go cup. Now my parafait definitely didn't look like Dalia's my mango was a lot thinner and not solid enough to hold a layer of porridge so they blended together fairly rapidly. So I tried it when it was hot, before I ran out the door and my face scrunched up! It was so chemically and awful tasting and I thought immediately goddamn it was sucha mistake to use the candrel. I had no other option but to bring it with work with me cause I had no food otherwise!. So I threw the rest into the fridge and packed my unsuccessful meal into my bag. So I got down and sat at my desk and opened the lid of my lunch pot and took the first spoon and was blown away! It had cooled down and had lost the chemical taste and when I tried all three together, the yogurt, fruit and oatmeal it was like a taste explosion in my mouth. It was so good! I savoured every mouthful! I will be having this again!

Massive props to Dalia's Kitchen again for the deliciously decadent breakfast!

P.S I just received word that my phone is here, this time I'm fairly vertain it is for real here! I can't think of anything Else it could be so hopefully my snap happy journey will start tonight!

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Recipe of the week: Lunch

So I did one of the recipes way sooner than I thought I would. I got home and realised I hadn't left out meat for dinner and that my dear boyfriend had gone off and gotten subway so he wasn't eating!

I wasn't feeling like a dinner to be honest so I decided to give the Cauliflower crust toasties a try. Of course as is typical of me I forgot to charge my camera and could not find the charger and had made them by the time I realised I hadn't so long story short no pics.

It won't always be like this I'm afraid you'll have to take my word for it today but I really, really, really did make them! I swear!

Anyway I'm going to go ahead and give my little review.

First, the instructions were super clear and easy to follow. To put it shortly there was no bullshit about the recipe. However the process itself was a bit time consuming. My blender wasn't great and it took a while to make the cauliflower rice. I then had the surreal expierience of pouring food from a bowl onto a tea towel. I won't lie, I felt wierd. And I looked wierd and I really didn't want to explain to my housemates when they asked what the hell I was doing!

I pushed passed my thoughts that were screaming "This is not normal!You don't put food in your tea towel and then EAT it!" and I squished as much water as possible out of my cauliflower.

Now maybe you're supposed to leave it cool down first or something because I damn near got third degree burns trying to squish the water out and without gloves, opted for wrapping another tea towel around my hand and then I squished away!

I was supposed to get around a cup of water from the rice but I only got around 3/4s of a cup, probably a bit less and the mext time I'd try squish a bit harder. My "bread" wasn't soggy like I feared but I wouldn't have minded it a tiny bit crispier.

So I squished and squished then I mixed in the other things and started to form my "slices of bread" on the tray and I popped them into the oven quite convinced these were not going to work!

Anyway fifteen minutes late I took out some thngs that to my surprise actually looked quite like they were supposed to!

I used a spatula to peel them up in case they were soggy but they held up and then I buttered the less crispy side and threw in some cheese. I also buttered the outside and then I threw them onto the pan.

5 mins later they looked just like the picture from the blog!

Cauliflower Crust Grilled Cheese

I cut them in half and threw them on a plate and asked my boyfriend to trust me and just eat (he's not very adventurous!). One was a little more blac and it turned out that was actually nicer but it's a learning curve!

They were actually quite delish! Now I defintely wouldn't claim that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference! I mean you'd definitely know it wasn't bread and I can forsee some people having a problem with the texture...it's unusual but I definitely would try it again! Maybe a bit more salt the next time but aside from that they even got the Boyfriend Seal Of Approval.

So I'm sufficiently happy! Honestly it's a weekend thing cause it does take a bit of time but I will definitely be trying cauliflower crust pizza! So thumbs up!

#100happydayschallenge

So I've decided to do the #100happydayschallenge whereby I post a picture of something, anything that makes me happy every day for 100 days!

And it's that simple!

I'm also going to tie it in with #100DaysofFitness challenge where I will work out for a half an hour every day for 100 days!Even if it's just a walk or anything like that!

So day one will start tomorrow!